I hope that makes you happy, 'cause there's just no turning back

This all started with some yahoo in Apple Fall's chat asking about a "makeover":

[11:05] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Does [Sxxxxx] plan to answer whether it's home redesign or avatar redesign?
[11:05] Exx Rxxxxx: apparently not
[11:05] Exx Rxxxxx: lol
[11:05] Exx Rxxxxx: so I think we have our answer
[11:06] Axxxx Dxxxxx: maybe th plan is to get Lindens ...

Meet Ms. A., today's problem child.

[11:06] Exx Rxxxxx: I doubt it
[11:06] Bxxxx Axxxxxxxx: he's going group to group with that, maybe hacked
[11:06] Exx Rxxxxx: OH well then likely
[11:06] Ixxxx Mxxxx: They asked in a men's clothing/body group
[11:06] Exx Rxxxxx: hadn't seen the name pop up in any other group myself
[11:07] Axxxx Dxxxxx: was said here
[11:07] Exx Rxxxxx: exactly, only group I saw it in
[11:07] Axxxx Dxxxxx: I give up
[11:07] sxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxxx: I messaged them offering to help and got no answer, so it might be a hacked account, but who knows for sure!
[11:07] Munro (irish.munro): Well they're blocked along with some guy named [Exxx] who spams daily.
[11:09] Axxxx Dxxxxx: why refer to one person as they them?

Oh, here we go.

[11:11] sxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxxx: Are you asking me that, [Axxxx]?
[11:11] Axxxx Dxxxxx: two did the same
[11:11] Axxxx Dxxxxx: and it was a he who made the original question
[11:11] Axxxx Dxxxxx: I just wonder
[11:12] Axxxx Dxxxxx: Maybe I could get wiser

I doubt it, based on later commentary.

[11:12] sxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxxx: It doesn't seem odd to me as a person could be them, just as many people could be them. It doesn't always mean more then one.
[11:13] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): [Axxxx], do not start with the they/them not singular nonsense. Thanks. It's been in singular usage since the 15th century.

Was this rude? To me, no. To Ms. A., maybe. I will say it was curt. I am beyond sick of explaining this to people who are just using it as another way to discriminate.

[11:13] Axxxx Dxxxxx: pardon me?
[11:13] Axxxx Dxxxxx: I ask cause one person cant be plural

Without bringing up DID, there's no way to really break that misconception down, but as far as they/them usage, it's not just plural usage. It's also in singular usage with a long history of being so.

But she IMed me in a huff.

[11:14] Axxxx Dxxxxx: dont tlle me I speak nonsense
[11:14] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) smiles
[11:14] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Then don't start up with they/them cannot be singular

I mean, that is, at the least, clear, innit?

But back to the group chat:

[11:15] sxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxxx: I think she is just curios Emilly.

She could be. She could honestly just be curious. Orrrrr, she could be an anti-feminist insisting that no one can be a 'they', that everyone must be a male or a female. Possibly followed by 'I don't use pronouns', which is ridiculous on the face of it.

Trigger-happy on this issue? You damn betcha. I deal with this nigh on the daily on Twitter at this point.

[11:16] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): It's not used as a plural in context.

Back to the IM:

[11:16] Axxxx Dxxxxx: ok then I am stupid
[11:16] Axxxx Dxxxxx: thanks

Didn't call you stupid, Ms. A., just argumentative on a silly issue.

[11:16] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Shakespeare used it consistently in his plays. We also have other surviving documents from England and France at that time.
[11:18] Axxxx Dxxxxx: French used 'Them'?

Now, I was wrong here. I thought there were surviving documents, but apparently the 'them' usage in France is of recent derivation. That was an error on my part.

[11:19] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Yes.
[11:19] Axxxx Dxxxxx: you speak nonsense - and you are rude
[11:19] Axxxx Dxxxxx: sure Them is French
[11:19] Axxxx Dxxxxx: naturallement

She was right here--in terms of 'them' not being a historical pronoun in the French language. Jury's still out for me on whether I was rude, but eh, it's all in the perception, I guess.

Back to main chat:

[11:19] Exx Rxxxxx: they/them does not always indicate plural
[11:19] Exx Rxxxxx: sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't
[11:20] Exx Rxxxxx: it can be a single person's preferred pronouns
[11:20] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): It can be.

Back to the IM:

[11:20] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr):

"French traditional pronouns are il (male), elle (female), ils (plural), elles (plural refering exclusively to female ppl or things).
The most common NB, neutral pronoun is "iel", that can be spelled iels, iell, ielle, ille, illes...
I also know ppl who go by ol, al, ul and yul."

I was quoting from a Connexion France article on the introduction of nonbinary pronouns.

[11:21] Axxxx Dxxxxx: and you know how to insult people
[11:21] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): https://www.latimes.com/opinion/story/2019-12-15/they-singular-grammar-transgender-history
[11:21] Axxxx Dxxxxx: (busy response): If you see this - you are in some real bad company ...

Ah, she blocked me. I figured I'd keep going with what I found, and then close the window, which is what I did.

[11:21] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/~myl/languagelog/archives/002748.html
[11:21] Axxxx Dxxxxx: (busy response): If you see this - you are in some real bad company ...
[11:21] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): https://nyulocal.com/shakespeare-used-the-singular-they-and-so-should-you-6452240ca9e0
[11:21] Axxxx Dxxxxx: (busy response): If you see this - you are in some real bad company ...

And then I went back to the group chat.

[11:21] Exx Rxxxxx: in fact, it is not bad practice to default to those pronouns unless someone has specified otherwise
[11:22] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): https://phys.org/news/2020-01-chronicles-history-gender-neutral-pronouns-shakespeare.html
[11:22] sxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxxx: I think that may in fact be what I did - I just defaulted to using 'them'
[11:22] Axxxx Dxxxxx: now we speak gender something and political correctness
[11:22] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): It's not political correctness, [Axxxx], it's common courtesy.
[11:27] Dxxxx Hxxxxxx: Ding................ding

After this, chat went silent for a bit. I had no intention of continuing. She's welcome to stay tucked snug into her safe misconceptions.