if I could live my life half as worthlessly as you, I'm convinced that I'd wind up burning too

I walked in on something odd. First, the notice that was sent from a skin maker:

Dear Male customers,

You are about 10% of my male customers.

I think she means 'total customers', here. Apparently she'd received some complaints, though.

This means i can not spend equal time on products
and gifts for you guys because i spend the 90% time on the female customers.

And honestly, that's fair. More women on the grid = more women buying skins. It's simple math. Do the guys wish they had more variety? Absolutely. Do I and other women try to help where we can to get the word out about good male skins, mesh bodies, attire? Absolutely. But the facts are, they will never get the market share that women do.

- Each month you get a group gift,
- Each hunt you get gifts
- There is a male mini Mania board
- There is a male Lucky board.
- Then there is Fathers day as well
- And sometimes camping chairs.

In addition to the lucky boards, she's put out lucky chairs on occasion, and nearly every Yule gift she gives out has both female and male skins and/or shapes.

I would say thats a lot of gift!

I would agree.

So please do NOT complain that the female customers get READ NC

And again, I think she meant either "more" at the end of that, or had intended to include a more detailed notecard. Not sure; no notecard was attached.

But on the heels of that, this conversation:

[11:06] txxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: [Ixx] you always were so very good to the guys in your group - thank you
[11:06] mxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Some guys just don't appreciate it.
[11:06] Axxx Axxxx: Guys and girls...she's fantastic....if one doesn't like what a shop has to offer...simply leave

I'm not saying that if there's a serious issue, people not inform the maker, but do it politely, do it respectfully, and do it privately. That's all.

[11:06] dxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: There's actually men complaining? Geez...
[11:07] Bxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I read this in so many groups from men. What you wrote is well put
[11:07] Axxxxxxxx Txxxxxxx: [Ixx], I am sorry, but is there a newskin for men coming out soon?

And that's different than complaining. That's a request. That's asking for information.

[11:07] Jxx Nxxxxxxxx: complaining about free things?
[11:07] Txxxxxxxx Exxxx: ♥♥♥ [Ixx] is good to all her customers, she always has been
[11:07] Cxxxxxxxx Dxxxxxxx: Just my opinion but anyone who whines about not getting a gift doesn't DESERVE one!
[11:09] Axxxxxxxx Txxxxxxx: and of the stated 90%, wonder what the per centage of that is MEN who play a female ava cause there is not as much selection for them as a alady, which is a creators thins

Ms. A, I don't think there's a single male on the grid who's playing a female because they couldn't find a good male outfit. There are a lot of reasons men play women in games, everything from they like the way women look to they want to try the gender out...but not finding a proper skin or suit? Is not one of them.

[11:09] Bxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: [Axxxxxxxx] wrote what I was thinking lolol

Then you're wrong too.

[11:10] Axxxxxxxx Txxxxxxx: people are coming down on a persons opinon, but lets face it, 80% of the store is dedicated to ladies, men get 1 MM board to how many for ladies?

Well, let's break this down, Ms. A. I can't speak for every skin shop, I'm only in two groups for skin designers. But at least this one, before the store reconstruction, she had three lucky chairs, one MM board, and one gift board for men, and the same for women. And the womens' board usually locked; the mens' board rarely did. So where were all the men clamoring for skin gifts then? If they couldn't consistently lock a single MM board more than three or four times a month? Were they really that big a percentage of the group?

[11:11] Axxxxxxxx Txxxxxxx: the ladies got a stay home skin, men didnt, what about a man who might have wonted one?

You want this to be your rallying cry, Ms. A, talk to the Stay at Home group. Talk to male skin designers. Ask them if they'd offer a skin for free through that group. But don't complain here, when male gifts are offered.

[11:11] Axxxxxxxx Txxxxxxx: that was the point
[11:11] Exxxxxx Dxxxxxxx: What did i log in to?
[11:12] Axxxxxxxx Txxxxxxx: they werent complaining about the gifts, just expressing their opinion, that is all
[11:12] cxxxxxxx Cxxxx: I left an hour ago...... why is this still a topic?

And that's a damned good point. I only caught the tail end of this, then, but if it's been discussed for over an hour...that's not constructive at this point.

[11:12] Axxxxxxxx Txxxxxxx: as i am
[11:12] Bxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Guess that should get taken up with Stay at Home, I don't know
[11:12] Axxx Axxxx: Like any other product, it will get developed when the demand for it is worth the investment of time...that was the point of her Notice, and it only makes economic sense...
[11:12] Ixxxx Zxxx: this is a business! NOT a freebee market
[11:12] Axxxxxxxx Txxxxxxx: but it is the indivisual creators that are producing for the stayat home thing. That is where there needsd to be an empahsis

I'm...going to assume that the "individual" and "emphasis" you meant up there, Ms. A, were because you're typing at speed, not that you're just unable to spell...but it doesn't help your point.

[11:13] Cxxxxxxxx Dxxxxxxx: Good lord! The creator is not required to make ANY gifts! Men get a much fairer shake at [this shop] than most other places in my opinion...
[11:13] Pxxx Fxxxxx: Angelique, gifts are given voluntarily and is an option a designer chooses to give. It's not an opinion when someone says there's not enough gifts... that's just plain rude.
[11:13] Axxxxxxxx Txxxxxxx: And i know loads of men who BUY you product

Okay, so maybe it's not just typing at speed.

[11:13] Ixxxx Zxxx: i advise you now to drop the matter
[11:13] Exxxxxx Dxxxxxxx hands [Ixxxx], [Pxxx] and [Lxxx] a coffee along with some headache medicine
[11:13] Axxxxxxxx Txxxxxxx: ok, I am OUT, enjoy your business with out me
[11:13] cxxxxxxx Cxxxx: thank you!
[11:13] Axxxxxxxx Txxxxxxx: you want to kick me, refund me my join fee and i will leave

You know that's not how it works. You pay a fee to get in, you don't get it returned when you leave. When Frank's Place was planning on closing, there were people in that group, too, who wanted their join fees returned. They didn't get them, either.

[11:14] Ixxxx Zxxx: its a simple matematic

"Mathematic", but yeah, it is.

[11:14] FAxxx Axxxx: good riddance I say...if you don't understand a business, you shouldn't be in chat complaining about it...
[11:14] Ixxxx Zxxx: 90% female / 10 % male
[11:14] Lxxxxx Sxxxxxxxx: ho lords
[11:14] dxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Part of that 90/10% split is probably because the men don't change their skins anywhere near as frequently

And, at least from what I've seen, that's true. Up until this latest job, granted, I was unusual even among females in that I'd change skins--and species--easily twice a day. But most women have a selection of skins they rely on, different looks, different markings, different hair colors, whatever. And most men, at least the ones I've met--they find a look and that's it, until they change. (And most change when they decide they want to upgrade to mesh, and then they keep that look until the next new advancement.)

[11:14] Axxx Axxxx: that's really pathetic [Axxxxxxxx]...oh poor me, I hate what you're doing..I'm going to leave and take allll of my business with me...but only if you refund my group fee...wow...

Yeah, the dramatic flounce is never a good look, but that one especially--spitefully stating you're leaving, AND demanding the join fee back? As if the mere fact that one person leaves is going to completely cave in a designer's resolve? Any designer, even. Or writer, artist, musician, politician....Strength in numbers works in SL, too, but one single voice in the wilderness, in general, won't change minds.

[11:15] dxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I know I don't
[11:15] Exxxxxx Dxxxxxxx: group join fees are non-refundable
[11:15] bxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: im greatful for what skins [the store] does for men and the gifts, so basicly if your not happy with what [Ixx] does then leave. she can say enough is enough and stop the gifts all together
[11:16] Pxxx Fxxxxx: Ixx doesn't have to explain her reasoning for what gifts, or how many gifts she gives. To complain about it and saying it's an opinion is just plain rude. Also there's no refund for join fee. No one forced you to join, but you also chose to break the group rules or you choose to leave on your own will.
[11:16] Dxx Hxx: 10% or not, I appreciate everything you do to support your male customers, thanks [Ixxxx].

It's good to know that at least some of the men in the group support this designer.

[11:17] Axxx Axxxx: It's truly unbelievable....the monthly gifts...the MM boards....the hunts....the Advent Calendar...the "Pick" gifts...I don't know anyone who is as generous and one could join the group and never have to buy a skin again...yet still complainers...Thanks [Ixxxx], you're fantastic, just ignore the whiny people.
[11:19] Cxxxxxxxx Dxxxxxxx: I second what you said [Fxxxx]!
[11:20] Jxx Nxxxxxxxx: exactly [Fxxxx] and [Cxxxxxxxx], I third it!
[11:20] Txxxxxxxx Exxxx: I just want to say a huge THANK YOU to everyone who supports this store and [Ixx]....you all make it worth it, especially when you stand up for against this petty crap. We love you all ♥♥♥
[11:21] Ixxxx Zxxx: 💗 [Fxxxx]
[11:21] Axxx Axxxx: That said...I have a complaint.............joking...just joking!!
[11:22] axxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx puts cookies in chat and puts a bottle of Xanax in the chat too for the complainers.
[11:23] Txxxxxxxx Exxxx steals the xanax
[11:23] Dxx Hxx: haha xanax, make it chloroform, I'll park the van around the back and you wont have to hear anything from them ever again

Sure, that's an option too.

But seriously, this is a complaint I've heard over and over again on SL. And while I do understand, believe me, it comes down to finances, frankly. Want more diverse male clothing? Encourage makers to make it (and NOT by complaining). Make it yourselves (a lot of fashion houses on the grid started because they couldn't find what they wanted most). Offer praise for the good things that are on the grid.

But don't just complain. Criticism is not complaint, it can be constructive, it can, if nothing else, tell a designer what's wanted, what's desired, at the present time. But just complaining without that constructive element? It's just irritating.