I'm not sure what was your intention?

I was at the Pose Fair, of all places, when a short, distorted avatar started wandering about, complaining in voice that he couldn't find love. That he just wanted to be held, was that so much to ask? Then he came and stood next to me, perusing a static bellydance pose set in one of the shops. Still talking. I finally couldn't take it anymore and IMed him, which...in retrospect, was probably not bright.

[12:12] Emilly Orr: Dude, ask someone else. I charge.
[12:13] ForeignRufus: How much?

He wasn't serious, I could tell that. From his name, from his avatar, from the fact that he was less than a day old. But any port in a storm...or maybe I was just bored.

[12:13] ForeignRufus: Do you take v-bucks?
[12:13] Emilly Orr: L$2500 per half hour, L$4000 per full, and no.
[12:14] ForeignRufus: Damn, I like the sound of that

A prime case of "r/sarcasm".

[12:14] Emilly Orr: Really?

Not that text shows this, but this was also typed sarcastically, because he wasn't serious.

[12:15] ForeignRufus: Yes, so how does it work?
[12:15] Emilly Orr: Payment in advance. I can take you to my studio.
[12:15] ForeignRufus: How come I should trust that you wont just take my v-bucks and ruin?

Fairly sure he means "run" here.

[12:17] Emilly Orr: Why would I run? I honor all hires.

Even those from odd little troll avatars. And yes, this was the best picture I could get; the event was slightly lag-packed, but he never rezzed in. I'm fairly sure he was wearing pants, and of course the hat, but fairly sure he wasn't wearing anything else.

And no, only this one picture. I took one from the front, but...trust me, you don't want to know. It was...repellent.

[12:16] Emilly Orr: Okay, I need a term defined. What in the world are v-bucks? We deal in Lindens here.
[12:16] ForeignRufus: You play Madden'08?
[12:17] Emilly Orr: No.

So I looked it up. V-bucks are apparently the Fortnite currency? Never played Fortnite; the closest I've come to cooperative killing games was some pseudo-historical Roman game with destructible terrain features, and that so long ago I can't even remember the name. I'm not the PvP sort.

[12:17] ForeignRufus: Gotcha, so I have like a bunch of monies to spend, think you could tongue punch my meat ring?

That...is a line I've never heard before.

[12:18] Emilly Orr: Not sure my current bed offers rimming, but I could see what else I have.
[12:18] ForeignRufus: Please do, full list. Lemme know what animals you have in stock
[12:19] Emilly Orr: The House of Sakura does not offer bestiality. Though we do interact with furs happily.

It's true. The Duchess won't hire furs as Blossoms, but we're happy to have them as guests or patrons.

[12:19] Emilly Orr: If that's really something you want, there are sims for that.
[12:19] ForeignRufus: So like you cant gimme horse play, but you can gimme a dude in a furry suit? Thats [f**kin] lit fam
[12:19] ForeignRufus: yeet

So I figured the conversation was over, I'd just answer the last bit and be on my way...only, no, apparently.

[12:20] Emilly Orr: No, we don't have anyone non-human on staff currently.
[12:20] ForeignRufus: I follow you.... you dont have any ALIVE non-human staff.... Im cool with that

When...did I say that? I did not say that. What?

[12:21] Emilly Orr: No, no dead girls either.

Part of the problem, I think, is I was treating each statement seriously, and he clearly was not.

[12:22] ForeignRufus: Man... This blows

He wanted necrophilia?

[12:22] ForeignRufus: This is bad news bears
[12:23] Emilly Orr: SL, or the offer?
[12:25] ForeignRufus: What is SL?
[12:25] ForeignRufus: Sex lesbians?

Really? That's your best guess?

[12:25] Emilly Orr: You're in SL. Second Life?
[12:26] Emilly Orr: Second Life is the grid you're in.
[12:28] ForeignRufus: I thought I escaped the grid three years ago, [f**k]
[12:28] Emilly Orr: Mm, should have looked at the fine print.
[12:32] ForeignRufus: I feel super gay right now
[12:32] Emilly Orr: Hmm. We only have girls, but there are all-male sims.

He didn't say anything after that, not that I expected him to, but still. What sort of troll logs onto the grid only to be dissatisfied from go? Seriously, what is the point?