Thursday, February 6, 2014

you know that you were my collection, an addiction out of style

I never thought I'd be following any Twitter account labeled "hottestsingles", but after a friend recommended it to me, I realized I had to follow them. Here's part of why.

One of the earliest Tweets I've been able to find:
HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA INGESTING THE ROOT OF ABYSSAL KNOWLEDGE DREDGING THE CHITTERING DEPTHS READY TO SHOW YOU WHAT THEY'VE FOUND
From the same day:
HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA, EMERGING FROM THE SECRET PLACES, ADJUSTING FACES, POPPING THEIR COLLARS, COMBING THEIR HAIR TO HIDE SECONDARY JAWS
Yes, like MOUNTENNUI, Dread Singles communicates solely in uppercase:
HOT SINGLES IN YOURE AREA, HUNGERING IN THE NIGHT, SHARPENING THEIR TEETH, OPENING FORBIDDEN DOORS, BAYING AS THE PACK FORMS
More:
HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA, LIFTING THE DARK HEART OF MAN FROM A FORGOTTEN FURNACE, EYES BRIGHT WITH NEED, EVERY HAIR IN ITS PLACE
And more:
HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA, SINGING WHILE THEY COUNT YOUR TEETH
And more:
HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA, CONSECRATING THE DARK CORONATION, SITTING ON THEIR THRONES OF BLEEDING LIGHT, SHOWING YOU YOUR OWN HEART
And yet more:
HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA, GIGGLING BEHIND THEIR HANDS, HANDS WITH FINGERS THAT SEEM TO BE FAR TOO LONG, FAR TOO LONG AND SHARP
And even more:
HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA, KNOCKING TO BE LET IN, CROONING THROUGH THE KEYHOLE, CLACKING THEIR FANGS, MEWLING WITH HUNGER
To be fair, there were a lot of Tweets sent out August 20th:
HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA, SCRYING THE TOSS OF KNUCKLE BONES, PLUCKING THREADS FROM THE ETERNAL PATTERN, STEALING YOUR YET UNDREAMED DREAMS
I'll get back to this.

In the meantime, breakfast cereal teabags now exist. For...whatever reasons they needed to exist. I'm confused.

Also, you should know by now cats occur in three natural states: solid, liquid and plasma. Please keep this in mind. (There is some debate on whether a fourth state exists, that of "cute", but debate is, as ever, mixed on the topic.)

I highly doubt this Kickstarter will make their funding, and that's a very sad thing. Why? Because their technology, if it works, could revolutionize horror gaming. Well, gaming in general, but survival horror could get a lot more intense and challenging. Their proposal: biofeedback gaming. So you're not just holding a controller and pressing buttons, but your pulse rate and heart rate are being measured and fed back to the game. Your own stress stimuli will change how challenging the game is.

Think of that in the other direction, though, too--want to calm down? The same thing could help you do that. Hold a controller and jump in a nearly weightless environment while simple things change in the background. The more stressed you start out, the easier the game is, the more soothing the music is. All based on your body's feedback to the machine.

We're already in the future, people. Now we just need to learn to adapt.

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