Monday, May 19, 2008

you're not allowed, you're uninvited

Meet Mr. Oddblob Sodwind.


Born in November of 2006, there's vanishingly little on his profile to give any indication of who he is.

He arrives in Glidden, where we had quite the chummy little build party going, and immediately starts in making himself a sedate, yet irritating presence.

[22:01] MystiTool HUD 1.0.23: Entering chat range: OddBlob Sodwind (5m)
[22:01] Ysera Nyanda: you are cruisin right along...oh geez I wish my inventory was down to 38k
[22:02] Emilly Orr grins
[22:02] You: I start to panic the closer to 40K I get :)
[22:02] You: Which is sad, considering I keep importing textures and making things :p
[22:02] Ysera Nyanda: 46k I'm afraid to touch it lol

We notice the clown in our midst.


[22:04] Fawkes Allen: So uh
[22:05] Fawkes Allen: Friend, or Griefer?
[22:05] You: Gah
[22:05] OddBlob Sodwind: Just resting
[22:05] You: ooookay

I had to leave for a bit, do some sorting and organizing of a different nature, and when I returned, there was no clown in sight.

[22:11] Imandra Wycliffe: yay scary clown left
[22:11] Ysera Nyanda: yuh
[22:12] Imandra Wycliffe: i wonder how long we've been here.
[22:12] Imandra Wycliffe: lol
[22:12] Ysera Nyanda: lol
[22:12] Imandra Wycliffe: i'll brb i'll rez new platform

Now, if it's not clear, Miss Imandra and Miss Ysera are lovely people, but they are mainlanders. They tend to rely on that catchphrase of ages, "lol". Still, it was odd. Made me desperately wish I'd been building in Caledon, yet...he wasn't actually *doing* anything.

Well...until he crucified himself.


[22:27] MystiTool HUD 1.0.23: Entering chat range: OddBlob Sodwind (15m)
[22:28] Imandra Wycliffe: jesus christ
[22:28] Imandra Wycliffe: cant take a hint much?
[22:28] You: Well, or maybe he really means it
[22:28] Imandra Wycliffe: lol
[22:28] You: He can't speak English.
[22:29] OddBlob Sodwind: *** ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED ?!
[22:29] OddBlob Sodwind:
[22:29] OddBlob Sodwind:
[22:29] OddBlob Sodwind: *** ARE
[22:29] OddBlob Sodwind: *** YOU
[22:29] OddBlob Sodwind: *** NOT
[22:29] OddBlob Sodwind: *** ENTERTAINED ?!
[22:29] OddBlob Sodwind:
[22:29] OddBlob Sodwind:
[22:29] Fawkes Allen: I think his response to us the first time is proof enough he can and is just a moron looking for kicks.
[22:29] OddBlob Sodwind: *** IS THIS NOT WHY YOU'RE HERE ?!
[22:29] You: Some of us have deeper purposes, Mr. Sodwind.

It was surreal. We pondered the nature of human irritation, griefing, and strange clownlike figures.

[22:32] Emilly Orr looks over at the clown on the cross
[22:32] You: Why do I think he and Stiv would really hit it off?
[22:33] Imandra Wycliffe: lol
[22:33] OddBlob Sodwind: Chocolate rain...
[22:33] Imandra Wycliffe: oh god.
[22:33] OddBlob Sodwind: Chocolate rain...
[22:34] OddBlob Sodwind: Chocolate rain = High insurance rates
[22:34] OddBlob Sodwind: Mmmmm....Chocolate.

Now, I admit, this was mystifying to me. Actual brown rain.

Though to all our credit, he did say it was chocolate, not...anything else.

[22:36] You: I have to admit, I'm very nearly impressed
[22:36] OddBlob Sodwind: Thank you
[22:36] You: It's a terrible thing to do to the sim, but it's a pretty wide-ranging effect
[22:36] OddBlob Sodwind: I mean no harm
[22:36] OddBlob Sodwind: If I did, you'd be dead
[22:36] You: Gosh, thanks
[22:37] OddBlob Sodwind: In a virtual way of course
[22:37] OddBlob Sodwind: I wouldn't actually kill you
[22:37] Imandra Wycliffe: do you ever wonder why you don't have any friends?
[22:37] Imandra Wycliffe: cuz i can clue you in.

He built a large, extraordinarily phallic set of pink plywood cylinders. We were not overly impressed.

[22:42] You: Extraordinarily unsubtle, that is
[22:42] Imandra Wycliffe: fawkes kept orbiting him
[22:42] You: And really, not the best way to ask girls for dates
[22:42] Imandra Wycliffe: he kept coming back

He sat down and drew closer to us once more.

[22:46] Imandra Wycliffe: he just gave me a picture. i'm afraid to look.
[22:47] Fawkes Allen: Should go send the clown to him, he'd appreciate it
[22:47] You: I'm sure.
[22:47] You: What was the pic?
[22:47] MystiTool HUD 1.0.23: Entering chat range: OddBlob Sodwind (17m)
[22:47] Imandra Wycliffe: i'm afraid to look.
[22:47] Fawkes Allen: Me and Mandy
[22:47] You: Aww
[22:47] You: A romantic stalker
[22:47] Imandra Wycliffe: awww now that's sweet.
[22:47] You: That's so sweet
[22:47] Imandra Wycliffe: lol
[22:47] OddBlob Sodwind: See? I give you gift!
[22:47] Imandra Wycliffe: thank you mr. scary clown?


[22:48] You: I know the orange chair has relevance
[22:48] You: But I see no cabbage
[22:48] Imandra Wycliffe: hahaha
[22:48] You: So it can't be a French film thing
[22:48] OddBlob Sodwind: oui
[22:48] Fawkes Allen: That doesn't quite mean we don't want you to still shoo.
[22:48] OddBlob Sodwind: Or is it "wee" I can never remember
[22:48] You: Oh, not speaking of which
[22:48] You: God died again

I'm still waiting to see if God forgets who he is for a fourth time, and surfaces with yet another last name...

[22:52] OddBlob Sodwind: I was trying to avoid it
[22:52] OddBlob Sodwind: You sort of forced me into it
[22:52] Imandra Wycliffe: i wasn't talking to you
[22:52] You: Now, normally, I am not a violent person, but I'm seriously getting tempted to track down my brain chip.
[22:52] You: So what's on your mind, sir?
[22:52] OddBlob Sodwind: Nothing. I just do THIS

He moved into the couch at this point, positioning rather close to my head.

[22:52] You: And what does THIS accomplish?
[22:53] Emilly Orr raises an eyebrow
[22:53] You: You just wanted to sit next to me?
[22:53] You: Why is it always me?
[22:54] OddBlob Sodwind: No
[22:54] OddBlob Sodwind: The whole thing
[22:54] You: The whole thing?
[22:54] OddBlob Sodwind: Don't flatter yourself
[22:54] You: What, you mean on the couch?
[22:54] OddBlob Sodwind: It has nothing to do with you
[22:54] You: Well, that's a relief, in a sense
[22:54] Imandra Wycliffe: you wonder why you don't have friends? cuz i can tell you.

Eventually, we had to leave. It wasn't that he was being vile, it was just he wouldn't go away. Nothing to call the JLU out for, just...low-level irritation. Less poison oak, more swarm of mosquitos level.


Are we not amused? No, not particularly. Maybe we've become too jaded for clown crucifixion and clown chair dancing to affect us. Is this a problem? It's not like we're yawning at puppies being kicked to death. We're yawning at clowns dancing in cages and summoning chocolate rain.

Maybe we have lost something...but damned if I'm going all Rainbow-Brite to get it back.


Edward Pearse, Earl of Primbroke said...

I've banned people from the parcel for being less annoying.

Emilly Orr said...

Well, and so have I, but that was on my parcels. This? Was a public sandbox.

There wasn't much we could do.

Other than say, "Well, we're going home to Steelhead now, we've had enough fun." :)

Darien Mason said...

*tilts head*


Frau Lowey said...

Oh, lovely - why do the clowns do this?

Having heard reports of the other's visit to Boomtown, I iam suitibly unimpressed.

Emilly Orr said...

Doctor: I truly don't know. Oddblob lists as coming onto the grid in 2006, so it's possible, but I'd like to think--even though it's been some time--I'd have recognized the speech patterns, at least, such luck.

Frau Lowey: The Other, other? Went to Boomtown? When was this? And things didn't explode?

Frau A. S. Lowey said...

Brother indicated a Keenly Valiant showed up at the Boomtown opening, the other clown... Augustus found him singularly unfunny, and quite crude. Since I find Augustus's sense of humor to be crass, I do not look forward to meeting that individual.

Emilly Orr said...



Gad, Keenly back on the grid...This isn't good.