12 February, 2008

have mercy on my soul, I will never let you know where my mind has been

Goodbye.

The word resonates for me. One word, just one word. Simple word. Simple meaning behind it. In any other context...just a word.

Just one word.

Goodbye.

In other contexts it's everything. In other contexts it separates, it drives apart, it is one word with staggering power to change all landscapes.

One word. One small, simple word. One word means everything is over, and can never be started again. One...little...word.

But it wasn't said to me. That word. That goodbye. Not directly.

Does it still count? That one word.

It was said. The universe heard, brought it to my ears. Short, the traveling, all in all, but the lump in my throat tells me, I heard the message of it. I was yet unready to hear it, but I heard.

Mayhap I will never be ready to hear that word. Mayhap that word, that small, small word...will always have the power to undo me.

One small word. Such a small word.

Such great power I've invested in such a small word.

I hear you. I am yet sorry, but that can change nothing now. It's been said, it can't be unsaid.

Goodbye.


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One more love spins off into the moonless night...The cold of winter grows more bitter still.

7 comments:

turnerBroadcasting said...

old saying : words are just your finger, pointing at the moon.

do not mistake the moon for your finger.


hey emily i logged in today and
like. there was only two buttons on my account.

i've been out of world forever, but there's a real nutjob thats been really onto me.

what can you do? I tried logging into support at linden labs but it timed out like no server.


send me a mail off my blogger profile acct will you?

i am lost as to whats going on here. no way I was terms-of-service violation because I Wasn't +doing+ anything.

thanks.

Emilly Orr said...

Interesting saying. Incredibly apropos.

And huh. How weirdly odd.

Do my best.

Baron K. Wulfenbach said...

Fraulein Orr,

Your last line leaves me somewhat concerned for your wellbeing.

KW

TotalLunar Eclipse said...

I heard from someone that the pull of the moon can affect the human psyche. Perhaps it affects us in ways that takes us from the path we are used to.

Emilly Orr said...

Baron:

I understand your concern. I will recover, I will heal. To say that this comes at an inopportune time is to minimize to the point of absurdity.

But I do have friends, I am relying on their support. And I have the land, and it offers succor.

I am not alone. I rely on that most of all. And I thank you, sincerely, for your concern.

Emilly Orr said...

Lunar, it well may be. I was thrown from my path well in advance of this, I hold no participant to blame. All things happen when they are meant to, and usually, for good reasons...even if we do not comprehend them at the time.

itsdavidvc said...

*The Doctor looks up from his research as a tremor causes the Foundation to shake. A level above him, the chandelier in the main hall rattles like icicle rain in a frozen cavern, and one crystal in particular glows a deep red*

hide away, they say, 'cos we don't want your broken parts

Yeah, so...remember that thing I was recovering from? You know, last year ? Yeah. I did it again. So this is Em Faw Down Go Boom part ...