it's 3 AM and the moonlight's testing me

Not my usual gig, but this made my jaw drop so hard, I had to cover it. And there are likely many, many people who won't entirely get this, but...it must be said.

So I'm fairly behind on Critical Role, which is an online show featuring a bunch of professional voice actors (and at least one child actor turned adult) being filmed while playing Dungeons and Dragons.

But I'm up to Episode 78 of Campaign 2, and...let's pause a moment and explain Sam Riegel.

...

There's no explanation for Sam Riegel. Let's just sum up what he's doing here. For the...two years? Two years! Critical Role has been running (at the time of ep. 78, at least), Sam has been doing on-the-spot comedy promos for DnD Beyond, the official digital support program for keeping track of character sheets, spells and the like for paper gamers.

In this episode...he went...well, his version of goth. And as the "Web Weaver", he essentially did a surfer dude's take on what goth culture is. Taliesin's face during this...abomination...was intense.

Now, that video gives you the exact play by play, but I wanted to pull out a few screen captures to focus on.



But Sam, Sam, Taliesin is right there! His Twitter handle is @executivegoth, for the love of all things! How can you say that?



Because what else would he say? It was a staggeringly disconnected statement from Sam's everyday reality, which includes a goth person.

Sam retorted in response, that Taliesin seems so normal, and:



I bet. After Surfer Goff Emo Boi...



It was indeed. This would be a shock of cold water to the gothic soul.



Anyone would.



AND THIS WAS THE BIT THAT BROKE MY BRAIN, because--



They were all at a live show of Critical Role in Indiamapolis! In August!



EVERYONE made the choice to go goth for the live show! So Sam...Sam...YOU SAW TALIESIN'S GOTH SELF! How can you have forgotten from August to October??



How could you have MISSED this, Riegel??

I'm baffled. It's baffling.

I...I have no words.