09 December, 2014

children of the earth, arise!

More cookie recipes! First up, thumbprint cookies, two ways (but with room for many more creative variations), followed by chocolate sables, peppermint cheesecake cookies, traditional "Yule Log" and molasses crinkle cookies, and a very vintage recipe I haven't run across in years, it seems: raisin criss-cross cookies.

In other news, if you're into creepy sealife, I came across a lovely video of an anglerfish in action. It's either awesome or disturbing beyond all reason, considering how well you handle a fish with more than half its total body length being mouth.

Some days, I'm deluded into thinking I'm a rational person. This may not be one of those days.

[03:48] [Kxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx]: The Lord of this planet spoke to me once , it was two words ,, He said ,, ' No Mercy '
[03:48] [Txxxxxx Exxxxxxxxx]: O.o
[03:48] Emilly Orr blinks and wonders where that came from.
[03:48] [Kxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx]: me
[03:48] Emilly Orr: Yes, but in relation to what?

It was a serious question--I was massively confused. We'd been discussing lucky boards and Midnight Manias at stores that catered to implants (mostly Lolas Tangos, as I recall), and then this happened.

[03:49] [Hxxxxx Dxxxxx]: - I'd have been more worried if it has been The Lord of this univers - I coulldnt care less about Elvis...
[03:49] [pxxxxxx Fxxxxxx]: o.O
[03:49] [Kxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx]: The Lord of this earth , or did I stutter ?

No, you didn't stutter, dear, you're just not making any sense.

[03:50] Emilly Orr: Ah, okay, let me dumb this down for you. What do you mean?
[03:50] [pxxxxxx Fxxxxxx]: oh boy, one of those days
[03:50] [Kxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx]: you cant dumb that down any further

I guess not, but it still doesn't make any sense. Us: *random chatter, store sales, MM board postings* Her: *DOOM! BOW YE DOWN BEFORE THE LORD!* Us: Uh, what??

[03:51] [Txxxxxx Exxxxxxxxx]: flashes her tits and jiggles them in annoyance.
[03:51] Emilly Orr: Let me take it from another angle, then--to which Lord are you referring?
[03:51] [Hxxxxx Dxxxxx]: *shrughs* I have the Utmost respect for The Lord - what I do not respect are people trying to pull *their way* of believing over everyones head like a too-small hat!

Absolutely, which was another problem I had with this sudden intrusion from the religious side.

[03:51] [Kxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx]: there is only one
[03:51] Emilly Orr: There is only one *to you*.

I'm sticking by that.

[03:51] [pxxxxxx Fxxxxxx]: This is not the platform for this topic
[03:51] Emilly Orr: It's really not.
[03:52] [Txxxxxx Exxxxxxxxx]: there are religion groups , lots of them
[03:52] Emilly Orr: How does this relate to implants, freebies, or implant clothing?

After that she shut up. Again, this was completely out of the blue, so I still have zero reference as to what she was getting at in the first place, and why she so urgently wanted to pass on "the message" in an implant freebie group!

In more depressing news...whilst offline, I received this message from the Inspirational Mental Health group:
people are upset that I am walking away from no longer donating myself. But how can I continue to donate and give of myself when I have absolutely nothing. If you really love the community, if you really want to support, if you really believe in the mission and vision, just join the VIP group. I can't any longer donate of myself unfortunately. I no longer have the means to do so.
Uh...What?

So I logged onto the grid and read the notecard sent in a later message:
Don't donate to any organization that helps stop stigma or raise awareness. WHY in the world will you support these people?

Who gives a dam if they make a difference!!! Just don't donate. Let everyone commit suicide because they don't have a place to go to. Let everyone feel like crap because they have no one to talk to. Let everyone just suffer because who gives a dam, life is just too crappy to even believe things can change and be better.

Don't raise awareness, don't educate and don't support. Yep!, that's right! Hide all your materials and be greedy as hell and don't share it.

Don't share it with people who might be suicidal. Don't share it with people who might be in need. Just keep all your materials in your inventory and be greedy! It's amazing to live this way! Doesn't feeling greedy feel amazing?

Don't help out and volunteer with people who are trying to make a difference. Your life sucks anyways! How dare you believe that you are worthy and can help someone else? How dare you even for a second think you can possibly hear someone out and make a difference? Taking 2 minutes of your time to listen is just not for you.

Don't bother to say thank you for materials that do help you and change your life. Why? You deserve countless of hours of research, personal experiences, and work other people put in to give you something for free!! If they gave it for free, why should you say thank you? They can go to hell! Grab what ever it is and forget about gratitude. Who cares if they worked as slaves for FREE to serve you and help make your life better. That's not your problem.

Don't spend your money on materials that can help better your life. Nope! Just spend in on prim clothes, virtual world homes, and all the virtual luxury you can buy. Spend it on things that keep your life crappy. What else can make you feel better? You deserve to keep complaining about your same symptoms and life. Who cares if you don't change? Who cares if there is a possibility of a better change? This is your life and this is what you choose so be it!

Oh you are offended by what I am saying and my advice? Sadly, 95% of the people in a mental health community ARE these people.

Why is it that people chose this instead of wanting to be the change they wish to see?

Sadly, we can't raise awareness and educate without others joining in. We can't made a difference without others being involved. And we can't make a difference when others don't support.

This is a very! hard decision. VERY!

But I have realized my worth and value. I have donated countless of hours to this community for 3 years plus and have gained a lot of experiences that I now take that with me into real life. I realize that the contents I share have value and can change a person's life for the better. I have seen the materials being used by the 5% of people that do donate, that do say thank you, that do support, that do believe in a change....and they have gotten results!!

I know what I can give. I know that the materials shared can help change life for the better. I know that it brings results!

This is why I am moving on to where I am appreciated and valued. I am focusing 100% on the VIP Group ONLY. I am also launching a project in RL soon. This project will help millions of people while I don't go undervalued. I will also be able to help continue the work we do.

I want to thank you to the 5% of you that do and/or have donated to support this project of raising awareness, educating others and providing resources to those in need. I want to thank those that have listened to others. I want to thank those who have giving of themselves completely, realizing that this is the way to end stigma and discrimination. I want to thanks those who have supported us in one way or another.

If you would like to join the VIP group, here is the link {insert: leads to SL group link}

If not, I understand and wish you well in your journey. I am grateful to have met you all and I am thankful for the times shared ♥

Inspirational Mental Health, once known as Mental Health Awareness Retreat has reached over 5k people around the world. It has educated many people and raised mental health awareness. It has provided resources and information and peer to peer support.

Thank you for having been a part of this wonderful community.

Joshuan Banx
Now, I'm leaving his in-world name on the blog because he's been a passionate advocate of healing in all spaces--RL, SL, anywhere. I first ran across Mr. Banx while he was running a hunt to benefit mentally ill homeless people. I decided at the time to join his group, and while I don't always participate, there have been a lot of thoughtful, helpful discussions over the months I've been active in the group. He turns no one away, so there's a lot of diverse voices, from the depressed to the bipolar and beyond.

But I've never taken a class, and, while I have donated to the land fund, it hasn't been often. Why? Because I'm currently facing two (to me) severe issues:
  • I don't have a steady stream of Lindens to play with at present, and
  • I'm pretty severely depressed, for a variety of reasons (lack of Lindens being the least of them)
The first means I don't have much to donate; in fact, most of the 'shopping' I've done in world for the past six months has been garnering freebies and going on hunts. It's the second that's pulled me into hermit state, though, made me very uncomfortable around other people most of the time, and largely kept me out of world consistently.

And I won't lie: at first, the tone of the initial group notice made me want to post everything and explode in unwarranted rage. Because as with any serious case of depression, there's anger in the mix, and venting it inappropriately is typical for the ailment.

The thing is, I've been honestly sitting here, processing these statements, trying not to go off half-cocked, and I've realized a few things.
  • Whether I had Lindens or not, I could have foregone a L$25 Tuesday offering, or a heavily discounted mesh dress I wanted to attempt texturing, and saved up those minimal Lindens to toss to the retreat land.
  • He's right in that--while he's not specifically talking to me--I kind of fit into that largely self-involved 95% of group members: I haven't been talking a lot in chat, I haven't taken a class since the reorganization, I haven't donated in a few months to keep the land open, even when Joshuan was asking for donations on a nigh-weekly basis.
  • I've never even bothered to join the VIP group.
That last one has a very specific reason, how'ver: to join the VIP group, it's a steep (and, at this point, sheerly unaffordable) L$300. Now, in practical, RL terms, that's about a US dollar's worth, market fluctuations notwithstanding. It's not an insane--no pun intended--amount to ask for, and there are benefits that come with that--discounted class prices, members only materials and library (informational notecard) access, occasional exclusive group gifts, and at-home study worksheets for personal growth and self-therapy.

And I get why Joshuan's upset, I really do. I'm not the only one who's hung back; I can't even say that I had the best reasons, considering those I've spoken with in group chat who have far more compelling issues than I do at present. And while there's still a wounded, tender part of my psyche that is treating this as a personal attack, I'm also owning my complicity in frustrating Joshuan to this point: because as he said, I'm not the only non-participatory group member. And five percent of a group supporting the entirety starts to get really old after a while. I've been there; I understand.

So, I'm posting this. If you have issues you'd like to work on, and you have more free Lindens than I do, consider joining the VIP group. Joshuan is a caring, compassionate guy when he's not tearing his hair out, and overall, the group members are supportive people who do not judge. Plus, he's working on taking his self-therapy and peer support model off the grid and into RL, starting with Facebook and a set of personal speaking gigs at various locations he's been doing over the past few months. Which seem to be going pretty well, from what I've heard.

So...for now, I can't get further involved. Does it mean he's disbanding the non-VIP group? I don't know, and today, after a round of calls between various medical offices and various paralegals, I'm too tired to find out. I'm sure one way or another, all will be revealed, for good or ill.

After that, I feel the need for kittens.



There you go.

No comments:

hide away, they say, 'cos we don't want your broken parts

Yeah, so...remember that thing I was recovering from? You know, last year ? Yeah. I did it again. So this is Em Faw Down Go Boom part ...