Thursday, September 4, 2008

you don't know how you betrayed me

Look here she comes now
Bow down and stare in wonder
Oh how we love you
No flaws when you're pretending
But now I know she

One of my loves attended, at the behest of her friend and mine. I stayed in the aptly-named sim of Cursed, pondering. Should I be there? Some part of me felt I should, but there were those there who would become upset at my presence, I thought.

For their sake, I stayed away. To spare them pain, I chose not to attend the wake of a former love, a former adversary, to contemplate more deeply the nature of redemption and revenge.

By later account, apparently I did the right thing by staying far away.

Never was and never will be
You don't know how you've betrayed me
And somehow you've got everybody fooled

I was right not to attend, I was right not to go. And this, this is the final act, and there will be nothing more.

I hold no allegiance or loyalty to the house of Bloodwing under any name. I will not serve, even by silence, its new Regent in any wise. I sever all ties, even those I've maintained for memory's sake.

Should allies or members of the House wish to retain friendship with me, I have no objections, and I will do my best to remain accessible in limited ways. But the House at large, as an ideal--no. Ashes in my mouth, and curled around a considerable bitterness, I say no.

I cannot maintain the cheerful smile and the extended hand of aid to a new 'Founder' that despises the fact that I breathe, and has done everything within her power to see me fail. I left Steelhead because she was uncomfortable. I no longer attend Tuesday meetings or Friday dances, once a very large part of my life on the grid, because she might be made distressed by my appearance.

But she will not let it go. Over a year and she still flounces off like a spoiled child whenever we do meet, grumbling under her breath about me. Enough, I have had enough.

I say no. Three times I say no, and what I say is true.

We are at an end. Nostalgia only goes so far, and this goes too far. The Foundation will have no more of me.

(Lyrics taken from Evanescence's "Everybody's Fool".)


Christine McAllister Pearse said...

Well, after having read the long transcript I can only say this:

Oh The Drama.

Wow. Can't say as I'll be getting to embroiled into it myself.

Emilly Orr said...

I can live without the drama. I have enough local sources for it, if I ever feel the need, now.

Fuzzball Ortega said...

You know, Club Gearz, in Steelhead Boomtown, is open to everyone. Everybody knows that I only work for one person in Steelhead, and in addition to her, listen to two other people (and at times, refused to listen to them). You know the three.

What's in the past, stays there. Anyone who has any issues with another person, can leave, keep their mouths shut, be ejected or orbited. Something like what you've written can give a bad name to Steelhead (not to mention my little dance club).

Just saying, the invitations open. OH, and you know the "Mute" button comes in real handy sometimes.

Emilly Orr said...

I'm not slamming Steelhead. I have never, for any reason, been less than supportive of Steelhead, even when I had reason not to be.

And I'm not slamming Steelhead now. Though I don't show up often there--by request--I know I'm free to come. I have no issue with Steelhead, original or any following sims.