12 June, 2007

preach all you want but who's gonna save me?

Okay, this is serious. I need an old priest, and a young priest.

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Talk about your out of body experiences...and then, I lost my arms.

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Beyond strange adventures on pose stands, it's been fairly quiet. I had some time today and spent it building, getting four new items--three variations on one facial piercing, and one pack of all three--up on Kartiny, so I have this tidy little sense of accomplishment now.

I admit this--I need to talk about change, I need to talk about consequence, and above all, I'm nearing the middle of the month where I need to start thinking about rent, which is the why behind the spurts of building, but...I have this...peace, and I don't want to disturb it.

Eleven months I've been on the grid, eleven months I've been learning, exploring, interacting, surviving, and...I've never had peace. I've been happy; I've been in love; I've been giggly and playful and exultant and content.

But this...this peace...deep and spreading through me, the pool of still clear water, nourishing me down to the roots I no longer acknowledge, and...I just want a few more moments, where I am on absolutely steady ground, before everything lights on fire again.

That's all I want.

But instead, I get Exorcist moments in sandboxen. Go figure.

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