Monday, November 12, 2012

my feelings swell and stretch; I see from greater heights

While this is far from my usual style, with the Hostess union strike well underway--and looking like Hostess seems likelier to close up shop than pay its debtors honestly (most of whom, also honesty, are the pensioners who will be shorted devastatingly for their decades of service to the company)--I've had a couple friends bemoan the loss of Hostess products.

I'm not a sugar junkie, but I've been trying to track down homemade alternatives, or similar products, for those who may find themselves in need.
  • Homemade banana snack cakes
  • Homemade Butterscotch Krimpets
  • Homemade Chocodiles
  • Homemade chocolate Swiss Rolls
  • Homemade Devil Dogs
  • Homemade Ding-Dongs
  • Making your own Donettes can be tricky, but if you're in a part of the world that has Entenmann's baked goods, you can find a comparable prefab donut. There are also some good, (relatively) easy donut hole recipes, in chocolate and plain cake--here's a deep-fried cake variant, and here's a fancier baked cake variant. And here's one that omits frying entirely, choosing to bake them in muffin tins instead. You get UFO-shaped things that are closer to zeppoles over hole-in-the-middle donuts, but seriously, are you going to care?
  • Homemade fruit pies have their own section, because I found so damned many. So see below.
  • Homemade Ho-Hos
  • Made-from-mix honey bun cakes
  • Homemade Peanut butter 'Kandy Kakes'
  • Homemade Raspberry Zingers
  • Homemade Sno-Balls are a little tricky--so here's a complex version, here's one that seems simpler, but requires an icing tube for the marshmallow frosting, and this one changes things up a bit and involves a small amount of espresso powder (which was so bizarre as an ingredient, I had to look it up. Basically, anywhere you can use espresso powder, you can just use vanilla instead--cooks use it primarily as a flavor punch for chocolate and cocoa, not for any specific coffee flavor.)
  • Homemade Susie-Qs
  • Homemade Twinkies
  • Homemade Zebra cakes
Now then! The hand pie section! I've included mostly sweet, but a few savory (because I'm a Cornish pastie fan, can't help it):
Hope that helps.

And for more fun, make your own Pop-tarts.

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