you can't be sure of any situation, something could change and then you won't know (part one)

This one's going to be a bit more heavily anonymized, simply because while I want to share the chat and the conclusions reached--or not reached--it is, essentially, a chat capture from a private forum on a semi-private chat server, so...I'm not as clear on what the rules are for this particular service. I have read through their terms of service, and they do notably use the "Facebook clause" (which Facebook lifted nearly verbatim from Yahoo), which states that they have the absolute, non-revocable right to use anything posted by any individual using their service in inter-company communications, advertising, graphics, et cetera, in perpetuity...and that seems to say to me, at least, that any expectation of privacy is null. But...these are friends, so I'm still a touch nervous.

So for this one, I'm choosing replacement names based on the periodic table of elements to further hide identities.

[2:27 PM] Platinum: people love finding any little thing to take offense over these days. It was a kinda dumb design, but to call them out as intentionally racist or anything just feels like jumping to wrong conclusions.

This was about Gucci's so-called "blackface" sweater. Now, me being me, I'm more offended that Gucci wanted nearly one thousand dollars for a sweater that deeply ugly, but...that's me. There's been a ton of fallout over this, too: Dapper Dan, a Harlem-based fashion designer who works with Gucci, weighed in negatively (to the point that Gucci's CEO is setting up meetings to talk it out with him); director Spike Lee is calling for a Gucci boycott; Soulja Boy, one of many rappers who raised Gucci back to top label status, says he's "done with the brand"; and Gucci itself panicked and gave a public apology. Plus, several commentators online and off have raised the question with Gucci on whether they had any black employees who could have given feedback on this design for them, and their answer to that? "We had one black employee", apparently.

One. They had one. So the answer is no, in 2019, no one in Italy did even a two-minute search on Google to verify whether or not a design like this would be offensive. Now, I realize, Italy never had the issue with blackface minstrel shows that the US had, but come on, people. That's just willful ignorance.

[2:29 PM] Platinum: I really dislike the whole ultra offense-at-everything and cancel culture going on these days.
[2:37 PM] Platinum: like the situation with Liam Neeson, where he came out to admit to a really dumb, somewhat racially driven thing he did 40 years ago, which thankfully didn't lead to the conclusion he admitted he was hoping for at the time, and very clearly said how horrible it was and he's ashamed of it, and realized even back then how stupid he was being. And then all the Outrage Warriors come out of the woodwork to say that he's a terrible person *now* and that he IS a racist *now* because of something he did 40 years ago and actively acknowledges was a terrible thing, and yet the idiots still want to say these things and get him shut down and all of his work cancelled now.

It ignited quite the firestorm of controversy, yes.

[4:00 PM] Iron: And unfortunately whether the outrage is justified or not is not as relevant as it should be to how effective it is, [Platinum]. It works either way: https://www.standard.co.uk/showbiz/celebrity-news/liam-neeson-cancels-late-show-appearance-amid-racism-controversy-a4059956.html
[4:11 PM] Fermium: And amusingly? I dislike outrage about outrage warriors.
[4:11 PM] Fermium: Like. The whole idea of outage culture is mostly a conservative idea.

Well, yes and no. The raising of the spectre of "social justice warriors" came out of Tumblr, as an insult to the easily outraged, generally white, extensively over-educated set of females who frequently got offended over every little thing, then went on to make posts that were easily as offensive as anything they snapped over. But, the concept was nabbed by the conservative boards on 4Chan, and from there it became a conservative talking point--SJWs and "snowflakes" became interchangeable, and both were used to generally paint liberal voices who may well have had honest reasons to be outraged over the things they were outraged over. It became an easy way to dismiss opponents: "Oh, they're just an SJW, you can't listen to them, they're just crazy libtards."

[4:14 PM] Fermium: The vast majority of people who are 'outraged' or offended usually have a reason. Like even in your explanation of it, you said they were called intentionally racist. And no, I'm sure someone did, or some did as part of the idea of using offensive things to advertise.
[4:15 PM] Fermium: But I think the vast majority likely said it was racist. Which it was. But most probably don't think the company was being racist. Unless this was like strike two or three
[4:21 PM] Arsenic: I'm all right with demonizing "outrage culture", simply because the [4Chan] folks have been not-so-covertly adopting it as a way to strike back at critics (see: James Gunn). There's some babies I'm alright with throwing out with the bathwater.
[4:34 PM] Fermium: Well, yes. But that's an exploitation, as was GamerHate. It used a legitimate cause to carry out acts that are against the principles or unrelated to the issues supposedly being misused.
[4:35 PM] Fermium: It's basically Concern Trolling on a large scale.

I don't entirely disagree, but I still think some of the storm of outrage is coming from a group of people who basically exist at this point to be outraged, all the time, over everything. Now, to be fair, I'm only basing this on scrolling through Twitter; I'd base it more on Tumblr, because the posts can go more in depth, but I'm not paying attention to new Tumblr posts at present; I'm culling through my personal backlog, transferring them to another blog, and then will kill my Tumblr account. So my impression of "people outraged to be outraged" may, in fact, be entirely wrong.

[5:15 PM] Iron: Being an idea created by conservatives, if so, doesn't mean it's invalid. People aligned with the conservative party sometimes have correct ideas too and it's important to stay open to that. I do know that outraged people have a reason, people do things for reasons, they're just not always good ones.
[5:15 PM] Iron: But there's an issue that it's just never good enough to satisfy many people that are outraged. It was pointed out that this colour design of this product is too close to a racist look that is used. Fair, it's good that it was pointed out. Gucci pulled the colour. Okay, that's also fair and a good call. They also publicly apologized which was possibly unnecessary imo but probably a good call. Although I do think addressing the issue at all probably brought more wrath upon them, as engaging whatsoever with the public after you've made a mistake will unfortunately lead to that, which sucks and isn't right that that's what happens. Gucci pulled all other colors of that product as well, it seems, which should be overkill but I completely understand because people are outraged, which means any reminder of the accidentally racist like sweater existing at all will cause issue. Boycotts are being called for against Gucci. There are people that won't be happy until Gucci as a company dies now all due to a simple mistake that they tried to fix when it was pointed out to them. And that's not okay.
[5:16 PM] Iron: The same thing is happening with Liam. Right when he said it publicly he was pointing out that it was a mistake and a horrible thing, he didn't even need someone else to point it out to him. It was a terrible thought he had at that time and he knows it and is clearly sorry he had it back then. But people are calling for and succeeding at getting his events cancelled now, and that's very not okay.

I raise a point later, though, that my main objection to the storm of controversy around Neeson is that people are profoundly missing the main educational point in what he said. And I think that point is far more important overall.

[5:18 PM] Iron: I'm not against people pointing out when a thing is racist and thus not okay, in fact I'm for it. Like what Liam did himself and what Gucci admitted to and pulled that colour of that product.
[5:19 PM] Iron: But when someone has displayed the signs that they recognize what they did was not okay and appears to have learned from it (which we can never truly know but have to guess) then that should be a good thing that the person or company improved themselves and recognized as such. Outrage culture isn't, in my mind, when someone points out that they think a thing is bad. It is when they continue being outraged after it has been addressed.
[5:19 PM] Iron: Possibly because they are looking to be outraged more than they are actually looking to improve things, but also possibly because they just don't know how to recognize when a situation has been resolved.

Maybe that's what I'm trying to say, by making the distinction between 'cancel culture' and the typical conservative impression of SJWs in general--the people heavily in the cancel culture movement don't want a dialogue, they don't want a meeting of the minds to see how to untangle these tangled ethical issues; they just want to cut the offending person or company off at the knees, erase them from existence, and move on to the next thing to be outraged over.

[5:20 PM] Fermium: The issue is, that is a legitimate issue that is overblown!
[5:20 PM] Fermium: Because no one uses Outrage Culture that way.
[5:21 PM] Fermium: What you define it as, isn't what it means in common vernacular.
[5:22 PM] Fermium: The Gucci incident wasn't outrage culture. The Liam incident might be, but that one is complicated for so many reasons at this point. And I've not cared to spend the time researching it. I get what he was saying, it was a horrible thought, he knew it was, some people never get that moment of realization.
[5:27 PM] Iron: Many parts of the Gucci incident were driven by outrage culture and some parts weren't, in my mind. I have trouble writing it off as completely one thing or completely another thing as what happens in these situations is generally too complex for that, given the number of various things that happen.
[5:27 PM] Iron: Too complex, imo.

These issues are complex, unfortunately. Part of what I'm considering as "cancel culture" and "outrage warriors" are the people who seem to have the mentality of erasure: to wit, chip the king's name off the wall, no one will ever remember that king again, and everyone will be happier forever after. The problem with that is, even in ancient times where this practice was done to "erase" historical figures, they never got everything. We may have no reference for certain statues now, but in many cases (in Egypt and Mesopotamia, specifically), the names were written in multiple places, so this attempt at social erasure failed utterly.

Worse, now, is the age of the internet--the internet never forgets, because the internet is multiply coded, multiply transmitted, multiply copied, multiply stored. If the information is uploaded at all, the information is preserved somewhere, the information is out there. So modern attempts at "canceling" don't work in the same way--the outrage can cost jobs, can cause boycotts, can damage reputations, but the "erasure" aspect never comes into play, because once said on the internet, it exists forever.

[5:31 PM] Iron: Liam did come to that moment of realization though which is an essential part of the story and is why he should be in the clear now, an example of someone falling as we all do (in a general sense) but picking themselves up and improving themselves before any harm seemingly came of it.
[5:35 PM] Iron: If I'm using the term "outrage culture" wrong then I don't know, but I hope I've explained what I mean well enough to get past that usage. But I intend it to mean a culture that is seeking out a focus on being outraged more than just trying to actually make things better (possibly without realizing their true focus themselves), even though they tend to put up a front of trying to improve things.

That's how I tend to use the words, too, so if I'm also using them wrong, I'm willing to be educated on the correct meaning.

[5:41 PM] Fermium: My issue is, that 'Outrage Culture' is a dismissive term. It lets people who have certain privileges dismiss or mock the issues and concern held by those who don't have those same privileges.

Yes. That I would wholeheartedly agree with, having had an evening to think over things.

[5:41 PM] Fermium: That sweater was racist. Intent or no, it was. Gucci took it down. Good on them. But it was racist in that it'd be the exact sort of thing some 4channer would wear in public to be edgy and claim 'No, I'm not racist, it's just fashion'.

Yes, we're back to the sweater again. This conversation flowed back and forth between the two incidents.

[5:41 PM] Fermium: So to claim that is outrage culture is to dismiss the actual issue. The issue being that Blackface was, and still is a thing. It's something some people have to deal with, or have heard stories of their parents or uncles or grandparents having to deal with it.
[5:42 PM] Fermium: Taking it a step further, even if the sweater itself wasn't racist. The moment it was mentioned that 'You know, that sweater looks like like blackface' it became so, purely because, again, aforementioned 4chan edgelords and conservative hicks who would wear it unironically in 'support' of the company, but in reality just to troll black people.
[5:42 PM] Fermium: To try and take your last paragraph and expand on it. They were outraged by the sweater, and they made things better by making it public and shining light on an issue many people forget is even an issue.

And that's a valid point. Raising our concerns about products, about companies, about political movements, on any side of things, should be good for the interchange of ideas, and for coming together and reaching common ground. How'ver, if it's just outrage to be outraged, that means that they don't want the interchange of ideas. They don't want to reach common ground. They want to exclude, to silence, to end interchange on this topic.

So where is the line between people who are genuinely, emotionally outraged/hurt by something, and people who are simply seeking out things to be outraged over so they, themselves, feel superior to whomever they feel is beneath them? Is there a clear dividing line? I thought there was, but especially going through this again, I'm not so sure there is.

[6:41 PM] Platinum: [Iron]i has it right. The people that I call Outrage Warriors are the ones who just continue to be outraged anyway after an issue has been addressed. The people that engage in cancel culture against people like Liam, trying to get his jobs or talk show gigs cancelled, whether by going to the people in charge of that to take it out from under him, or by inflating the controversy so much he cancels things himself and has to then go into damage control mode. It's the people like that who make it very difficult for people like Liam or anyone else to come out and be open about the mistakes they've made, to show that they've grown, and that other people can grow and move past mistakes too. Because these days if you try to do that, your past just gets held against you forever by the Outrage Warriors, that are never satisfied until they've ruined you completely and ground you into the dirt.

That's my feeling too, because right now, at least in the United States, we are extraordinarily polarized as a culture. As I mentioned in my last post, it's this polarization that makes it so very easy to reduce whomever we view as against us into the Other, into the animal, into something nonhuman that cannot be dealt with in "rational" human ways. When we alienize (not alienate, that's different) our opponents, we are removing their agency as fellow human beings entirely. Which makes it far easier to treat them poorly--in fact, that's the root cause behind much racial tension and police brutality against black people--this specific form of the Us vs. Them mentality that's grown over the past ten years.

[6:44 PM] Platinum: Outrage Culture may be able to be used by some who don't get the actual issue as a dismissive term. Shame on them for using it that way. But it is a real issue as well. There are good reasons to be legitimately outraged, there are good reasons to speak up about it and to say something, to create a change. But when it crosses that line from legitimate outrage and trying to do something to make it better, into 'we're not going to stop being outraged and attacking until this person/company has been wiped from existence because of this one mistake they made', that is Outrage Culture, and that's the part I disagree with.

Right. If we raise these issues to try to make society as a whole better, we are trying to turn our outrage into communication to learn and understand each other. If we raise these issues because we're trying to end the conversation entirely, we are leveraging our outrage to silence the other party entirely and restrict their voice from the discussion.

[7:58 PM] Fermium: I'm not convinced the term can ever not be dismissive. It is dismissive. It's like trying to claim fag means some [a**hole] who rides their motorcycle around the block at 3 AM. Sure, you can mean it that way, but it's still offensive.
[7:58 PM] Fermium: Outrage Culture as a term is inherently dismissive.

So what's a better way to describe it? Conversation that fosters dialogue is what we want; conversation that ends dialogue is damaging. What's a better term for attempting to silence the opposing side merely by the force of our outrage?

[8:09 PM] Iron: I mean, I just told you what it means as far as when I used it. It is related to being dismissive, but of a thing that should be dismissed but unfortunately isn't. The over the top outrage that is more about being angry than actually fixing things. A focus on the outrage over the correction.
[8:09 PM] Iron: If you think my use of the term doesn't line up with what you consider outrage culture then that's okay, you can define my issue with a different term. Whatever term you find that matches up with what my issue is, that's okay to use instead.
[8:11 PM] Fermium: It is dismissive for one main reason.
[8:11 PM] Fermium: Who are you to dictate what people should and shouldn't be angry about?

Well, and that's a different issue entirely. I understand why it's being brought up here, but I think that's a separate thing. While we should be cognizant of how we phrase things, often when we are outraged, angry, hurt, we do not invite discussion, we dictate terms. I am guilty of this, so I see it in myself as well as in others. But does this issue completely intersect with outrage used as a weapon?

[8:12 PM] Iron: I'm the same as anyone else. But being angry about something forever is harmful and just leads to everyone being angry, since there's nothing anyone can do to fix it.
[8:13 PM] Iron: I don't think that's a good thing.
[8:14 PM] Iron: I'm not blocking people from being angry, I know that's not within my rights to do; I'm pointing out that it just makes things worse to do it that way.
[8:15 PM] Iron: They are free to point out the same to me, about how they should be angry all the time even once someone tries to fix a thing or themselves. About how that will somehow make things better.
[8:16 PM] Iron: If they can make that point, then go for it. I'll likely respond back as to why I disagree though. That's a discussion and those can be quite good.

Yes. Even with pain on both sides, even with hate and anger on both sides, if we can get to the point where we can have these discussions, then things can advance, can change. Maybe even get better. But is that dictating how someone else should feel?

[8:20 PM] Fermium: But see, the issue is when you turn it into a culture or an epidemic. Yes, you can disagree. But to claim there is an outrage culture is to imply dismissal of them being outraged. Instead, you should disagree, perhaps try to figure out why they are outraged, see if there is something from their perspective and privileges that makes them that way that you don't have or ever thought about.

Now, I make points against this later on in the conversation, and since this is getting long, this will be part one, with part two to come. But upon reconsideration, I think there is a point here that I missed on the first go-round. Am I dismissing the easily outraged as simply being easily outraged because they want to be, and not acknowledging their opinions as valid, whether I agree with them or not? It's a daunting question.

(Continued in part two.)

must it take a life for hateful eyes to glisten once again?

This video mostly speaks to rifts in the YouTube atheist community, but there's a great list near the end of things that I think are worthwhile for mending broken fences in any community that's suffering.

The lessons learned that Jim, the speaker for Atheist Edge, presents:

1. Thicken our skins. Even insults aimed at us don't have to actually hurt us. Or, as Patrick Swayze put it in Roadhouse, when one of the bouncers asked, "Well, what if someone calls my momma a whore?", turn the question back on itself. "Is she?" was his answer. Face that down. Are we the horrible thing they called us? If we're not, let it go.
2. Identify trolls from people who are just emotionally attached to an idea. Watch the patterns. People who are emotionally committed, and potentially not thinking, may sound like trolls, but at some point, they will play their hand. We will see that whatever is on the table, is an issue they really identify with.
   Trolls don't. Trolls are just looking for a reaction. They're poking the bear to hear it roar. And they get immense satisfaction when the bear roars. Don't give it to them. Disengage, do not interact to the best of our abilities. We won't change the mind of a troll, because they aren't emotionally invested. They're just dropping insults to see what works and what doesn't.
3. This one I'm guilty of--don't unfriend the people against us and our opinions, don't block them, don't insult them behind their backs online. Things get heated, but if the only voices we're hearing are ones that 100% agree with our own, we are not growing and adapting to the world we live in. "If you create an echo chamber for yourself, it's even more harmful in the long run", he said, than maintaining contact with people who offend, enrage, or hurt us. (This is not easy advice to take, because we are consistently told that for self-care and emotional stability reasons, it's good, and sometimes vital, to cut off toxic people around us. I still believe that some people cannot, or are not willing to, change, and in those cases, maybe walking away is the only option we have. But to the best of our ability, try to keep the lines of communication open.)
4. To that end, reach out and extend an olive branch to the other side, if we can. Be open to hearing from them. (This is also hard, admittedly, because some people just mix like gasoline and flame. But we must try to do our best.)
5. No name-calling. This one I'm also guilty of; I try not to, because it is childish, and it makes me think I'm descending to their level, not elevating the discourse back to rationality. But try to keep this in mind. Look at how foolish Donald Trump sounds with his endless parade of nicknames for people he doesn't like. If a man holding the highest office in the land sounds like a fool when he bleats about "Lyin' Ted", "Crooked Hillary" and "Crazy Joe Biden", how am I going to sound by retorting with "Moron-in-Chief" or "President Cheeto"? None of these terms are purely accurate; most are designed to strike at someone on some level just for a reaction. (Can we say trollish behavior?) Can we at least stop slinging mud at each other and just communicate?
6. Try to find common ground. Some issues are by their nature polarizing, and right now, our current political and social climate makes it far too easy to other those who disagree with us. We are not talking to aliens born seventeen million light years away. We're talking to people who breathe the same air we do, cry the way we do, bleed red the way we do. Even if it has to come down to nothing more than that, even if there is no other common ground to meet upon, we always have at least that one salient point: we are speaking to other hominids who were born on this planet. And if we take the time to look deeper, we may find we have more in common than just air and iron.
7. One-sided conversations aren't good, either. We need to give our opponents time to respond, and we need to offer them the dignity of honestly hearing them out. If we truly don't understand their points, repeat them back to them, with an added "Am I understanding you correctly?" And sure, this may take a while, in person, on social media, in emails sent back and forth. Some things cannot be easily resolved, it will take time. Let it take that time.
8. Be aware of how we're speaking, how we're phrasing things to people, especially if we're speaking across the aisle on a divisive point. Personally, I know it's very difficult for me not to sound sarcastic, and it takes a tremendous effort--both in real life and online--to rein in the snark. Take a break, breathe, disengage for a while until we're not speaking from that place of pure emotion, and able again to speak from a place of logic and reason.
9. He brought up a concept called "steelmanning"--he defined it as, when we take another person's opinion that is diametrically opposed to ours, and explain it back to them in a way where they completely understand what we're saying. This is also diametrically opposed to a "straw man" argument, also known as an ad hominem attack, where we pick apart what we consider is a weak point in someone else's argument, and misrepresent what they said on that one point just to knock down that one point. When we prove to someone with a differing opinion that we understand that opinion, then and only then can we give constructive criticism on the particulars of that opinion.
10. Make a list of all of our currently held positions, on all issues--social, political, psychological, emotional, cultural--every opinion we have that we might be wrong about. Write it down. Refer back to it. Read it over now and again. Revise it when it needs revising. And keep this point in mind as well: if we cannot think of a single thing that we might be wrong about, then we have stagnated to the point of mental death, or at least thought ossification. If we cannot be budged on any issue we feel is important to our emotional well-being, then we are intractable and unwilling to change in any way. We'd be better served by picking lilies and laying down at that point, because we are no longer growing, thinking, evolving lifeforms.
11. Keep in mind, too, that the reason some of these people may be hostile towards us, is that we--or more likely, people who hold similar opinions to ours--are hostile to them. It's a basic self-defense mechanism. Get bit once, heal. Get bit twice, be grumpy about it, and heal. See someone who might be coming close to bite a third time--bite them first. It's a primal reaction, but we need to be better than that.
12. Realize that they may never have dealt with anyone, one on one, who holds dissimilar opinions. We have to be the ambassadors for our own communities, our own beliefs, our own ideals. And we must do our best to be the best version of ourselves when we realize we are in the ambassadorial position.
13. Lastly, understand that we don't have to be at each other's throats to disagree. We can hold fundamentally different opinions and still be able to communicate, as long as we are willing to communicate. Catholics and Protestants get along in Ireland, and they have a long and bloody history that, in many places, is still etched into the brick and stone of the walls around them. For the most part, Japan is one of our allies now, and they have every single reason (potentially NSFW images) to hate us forever.

None of these rules, guidelines, whatever, are easy things to do. Some are incredibly difficult to do, because we are not just thinking beings, but feeling ones. And ordinarily, there's nothing wrong with having emotions. The problem is when we get swamped by our emotions and cannot think clearly. The moment that happens, we are back in the cave, shaking clubs at the unknown dark. We have to hold on to our reason, to our calm, as much as we can, for as long as we can. Another thing Patrick Swayze said in Roadhouse: "Be nice." There may come a time when we can no longer be nice, but until that point, be nice. Be polite. Be cool. Never forget we are speaking to another human being, with feelings of their own. We need to keep thinking as clearly as we can if we ever hope to mend the breaches that divide us.

Because as long as we are standing on opposite sides of the fence, we can't accomplish anything. We have to at least be willing to meet on neutral ground, and talk things out. And sure, it won't work with everybody. But we will never know who it will work with if we never try in the first place.

let it soak into your soul

Buncha shorter chats today. Because today.

[10:15] sxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: does anyone have the notecard for the saturday sale?

Simple enough question.

[10:15] Rxxxx Mxxxxx: its in the group notice
[10:15] Zxx Hxxxxxxx: it's in group notices, like it is every saturday lol

Simple enough answer.

[10:16] sxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: this is my first saturday in the group
[10:16] sxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: but thank you to the ones who sent it to me
[10:19] fxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: And thanks to those who helped her to be able to help herself in future :)

It's always reaffirming in a way, that humanity is not just a waste of space and energy. That people can still be kind.

[10:20] Lxxxxxxxx Bxxxxx: it literally costs 0 Linden to just....not be mean
[10:20] vxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: LMAO love that - kindness is always free
[10:21] sxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Thanks everyone...my avi age is old but i just started getting on like a month ago so i really dont know much and im just learning so sorry if i ask dumb questions im just trying to learn

I am as guilty of this as anyone. I'm never going to say there are no dumb questions, because there are, but if we can take the time to actually respond, politely, instead of retorting with sarcasm and spite--and I'm including myself in this, as said, I am guilty of that, perpetually--the world would be a better place.

[10:22] fxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Well welcome back to SL :)
[10:22] Dxxx Pxxxxxx: Oh well welcome back, then! :-D
[10:22] Rxxx Lxxxxx: it's not you. today this group's vibe is sarcastic :)
[10:22] dxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: [Axxxx] no question is ever stupid

Well, I've answered that, a few lines above. Maybe the better way to put it is, there are stupid questions, but there are also stupid answers. Try not to be stupid.

[10:22] Lxxxxxxxx Bxxxxx: it really is lol
[10:23] Dxxx Pxxxxxx: SL is being salty, I think we're all feeling a bit sassy
[10:23] Bxxxxxx Lxxxx: Keep the chat friendly and helpful is always our main rule here ♥
[10:23] Lxxxxxxxx Bxxxxx scribbles in a new rule about [Bxxxxxx] providing cupcakes to all
[10:23] axxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: pseudo sale not there?
[10:24] Rxxx Lxxxxx: there is a maintenance in the grid
[10:24] fxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I was being quite sincere. what better way to help someone than to give them knowledge/information that they can use again and again and again.. :)
[10:24] Bxxxxxx Lxxxx: let me check [Axxxxxxxx]
[10:24] Lxxxxxxxx Bxxxxx: maybe not doing it in a smug condescending way?

Well, yeah, that would also help.

[10:24] Bxxxxxx Lxxxx: and [Lxxxxxxxx], new rule, you bake them ;)
[10:24] Lxxxxxxxx Bxxxxx: double the help none of the salt :D
[10:25] Lxxxxxxxx Bxxxxx: I'm going to need a BIG oven
[10:25] vxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: in other news does anyone know if Besom has group gifts? I love their hair and know they do a lot in the sat sale but i cant see if theres group gifts, i might just be blind so just wondering if anyone knows
[10:25] fxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I'd like a new rule, too: No looking for offence or taking it where none os given - thanks :)

Not the worst rule either, but especially in text, harder to live by.

[10:25] Lxxxxxxxx Bxxxxx: I know Besom used to have some gifts but I think that was before the rebrand
[10:26] vxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: ahhh yeah i cant see any, theres midnight maddness tho if ppl wanna go click it
[10:27] txxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: We all started some where you live and grow just like real you learn something new every day people also that been here for years. Successful lift others. Your not wrong you will find away. Practice makes perfect learning helps you grow. meditating advance you.

What? I mean...I generally get it, but...wau, that was poorly phrased.

In other news:

[10:37] Rxxxxx Bxxxx: Trying to get into Junk Food - Says I need to accept an "Experience" What's that all about?
[10:37] Rxxxx Mxxxxx: say yes it a new thing in about land
[10:37] Rxxxx Mxxxxx: nothing bad will happen
[10:38] Jxx Hxxxxxxx: ty
[10:38] Rxxxxx Bxxxx: okie dokie
[10:54] Emilly Orr: That's kind of dismissive. So, the whole thing about "Experience" settings: you are giving that sim permission to port you around, through the stages of a game or a hunt. *Normally* this is not an issue, and you *can* revoke Experience permissions, but it is a deal worthy of a bit more thought than "say yes it's fine".

Then I caught the time stamp between my reply, and what they'd originally said, and thought, hell. No one's going to get that with the intervening time.

Finally, there's the total grid dysfunction. I sent this to a friend who'd logged in for all of five second before the grid bounced him:

[12:03] Emilly Orr: Just so you know, because I've been hearing the buzz: https://status.secondlifegrid.net/ They're pretty much saying don't be here, without actually saying that. No buying, no selling, no rezzing, no MP purchases, no deliveries, no teleports, no chatting, no building, no rezzing things out. It seems like EVERYTHING has gone sideways since 8 am PST.
[12:03] Second Life: User not online - message will be stored and delivered later.

So the grid's a cluster today. Stay in if you absolutely have to, but if you don't--just find something else to do. I'm going to hang out for a bit, but then, honestly, I may go find a book, or work on graphics or something. Get a few more chapters in of Layers of Fear. Something.

Good luck out there.

do you want to get mean? do you want to get cruel?

Why is this still happening?

Hey there,

Oh my god, what. What the hell is it NOW? I've put your damn link on the blog, I've devoted nearly an entire post just to you, what do you want now?

Did you receive my last email?

I have received all your emails. What is wrong with your brain? Why does this keep coming up?

Kind Regards,

Die on fire,

Jack

Jack, do you not read the blog? Are you just sending all this to me and you're not even checking back? Okay. Fine. I'm going to batchfile all the posts where you're mentioned, INCLUDING THIS ONE, and send them to you. And then I do not want you to contact me again. We are done.

my whole world rests on those tiny wings

So nearly a year ago, I wrote something which mentioned the General Data Protection Regulation, or GDPR. Jack wrote again--yes, that Jack--and told me that while referring to the official (at least, I thought official) GDPR link, but he told me he'd written a sort of "beginner's primer" to the GDPR. So, fine, I'm linking that, but I still don't think that goes far enough. Where in all of what was said on that 'beginner' link involves Article 11 and Article 13, which are, I thought, the deeply concerning sections? Or is that something else entirely, and I am misremembering what the GDPR is?

In the meantime, this was from a while back (I think during 2018's very hot summer), but I still think it's worth covering. Also, you should know, while this is anonymized as to actual people, I'm leaving in references to the estate, so...astute readers will be able to line up initials. Sorry about that, but...anyway.

[21:09] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: peeks in
[21:09] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: a little bit of (non Caledon) news, just as a public service
[21:09] Exxxxxx Yxxxxxxx pokes [Dxx] in the nose
[21:09] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: [Axxxxxx] tipped me off on this
[21:09] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: hey [Exxx]!
[21:10] Exxxxxx Yxxxxxxx: Hiya, Gov!
[21:10] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: turns out, Inworldz is in a bit of a struggle, they had paypal issues apparently
[21:10] Cxxxxxx Fxxxxxxx: InworldZ is closing
[21:10] Sxxxxx Gxxxxxx: there's been a lot of older accounts getting hacked and sending out phishing links to a bunch of random groups lately.

I'm not sure whether Mm. [Sxxxxx] was talking about InWorldz or here, but considering it's a huuuuge problem here, it probably was a problem there, too.

[21:10] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: for those who don't know, they are, well, they are trying to fight the closing is the last tidbit I heard
[21:10] Exxxxxx Yxxxxxxx: oof

Last I heard was that they had closed, I haven't heard anything since.

[21:10] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: that's on SL, [Sxxxxx]?
[21:10] Sxxxxx Gxxxxxx: yessir.
[21:11] Sxxxxx Gxxxxxx: seen it happen in 3 separate groups already
[21:11] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: wow.
[21:11] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: sad.
[21:11] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: anyway, long story short about inworldz, i know a LOT of Caledon people have land there
[21:11] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: and it may be 'make or break' for them in the next... I dunno, short period of time
[21:12] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: I do respect what they are doing there, considered it myself once (private grid) and would love to see them survive.
[21:12] Cxxxxxx Fxxxxxxx: long read
[21:12] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: if I remember correctly, that's what happened when they used paypal
[21:13] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: most of you know that I'm militantly 'anti paypal' even when tier is late by a resident
[21:13] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: this, precisely, is why
[21:13] Cxxxxxx Fxxxxxxx: well it was a loan company that they had been using then
[21:13] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: yes
[21:13] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: as I understand it, paypal bought that company
[21:13] Cxxxxxx Fxxxxxxx: the loan company got taken up by paypal
[21:14] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: i've dealt with paypal as a (RL) merchant, credit card processor
[21:14] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: they are not to be trusted

I would tend to agree, but for people on my level of transactions, they're kind of the only game in town, so...I deal with the dysfunction.

[21:14] Cxxxxxx Fxxxxxxx: then things changed, imagine that
[21:15] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: yah, basically even the tiniest mistake or dispute goes in paypal's favour, as, guess who keeps your money when it gets 'locked up'?
[21:15] Cxxxxxx Fxxxxxxx: remember something, Pay-Pal started off great BUT then got eaten up by Ebay, uhoh, then Ebay spat it out
[21:16] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: and oddly it produced a lot of super rich people too
[21:16] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: so that tells me a lot of money was diverted
[21:16] Cxxxxxx Fxxxxxxx: so it is ebay tainted
[21:16] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: i dont use them much, don't know
[21:17] Cxxxxxx Fxxxxxxx: I only use them to make small direct payments
[21:17] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: anyway, my main point I guess, the owner of inworldz is telling people to 'dispute' her or something so people can get their money out of paypal

Didn't hear if this worked, either. Personally, I don't think it did.

[21:17] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: if I understand it correctly
[21:18] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: probably best to check whatever the latest is, but, basically, there are people with 100's and 1000's invested in any online community
[21:18] Emilly Orr: So, with what you're saying, people will file disputes against the Inworldz owner, and if PayPal decides not to proceed, PayPal will keep the funds?
[21:19] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: let me check what the owner(?) of inworldz says about this, it's not my fight
[21:19] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: sec I'll get a link
[21:19] Cxxxxxx Fxxxxxxx: Paypal has a lien on Inworldz
[21:20] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: i'm not sure what their current strategy is
[21:20] Cxxxxxx Fxxxxxxx: they aren't either
[21:20] Cxxxxxx Fxxxxxxx: just have to wait for more news
[21:21] Emilly Orr: Great.
[21:21] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: one thing I have perspective on, over 12 years...
[21:21] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: is that if the communities start dying out, it's bad for all the remaining ones.
[21:21] Emilly Orr nods
[21:22] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: there was a time (not these days tho!) I probably could have made a difference in something like this
[21:23] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: it's not uncommon, or at least it wasn't, for estates to kinda help each other out here and there
[21:24] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: for instance, Mr [Txxx] taking on Babbage basically saved the community (yes I know there were some others who would also have, of course)

There were, yes, but the plain fact was, Babbage as a sim was going to go away. There were several people who wanted it saved, and the owner was willing to sell, but had there not been that support, Babbage would have evaporated into digital mist, like so many other former realms.

[21:24] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: the other reason I'm mentioning this, sometimes, there are benefactors who can easily make a difference, who are online here
[21:25] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: in any case, the more buzz they get, the better chance they have at inworldz.
[21:27] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: if there's any demand for it, I can talk about Caledon + personal situation if anyone wants to hear (main summary, we are fine)
[21:28] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: hears crickets, so I'll let everyone get back to their evening :)
[21:28] Wxxxxxxxx Jxxxxxxx: Ahhh. Read the post from there this morning. Sounded like there wasn't any viability problem until the lender created one. Just the relatively common business practice of using short term loans to average out short term expense / income fluctuations.
[21:29] Wxxxxxxxx Jxxxxxxx: (Rubs his wings together)
[21:29] Zxxxx Exxxxxxx: Hi [Dxx] :) I'd like to hear what you have to say on Caledon, and I'm very glad to hear that we are doing fine :)
[21:29] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: hai :)
[21:30] Zxxxx Exxxxxxx: Hey :)
[21:30] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: tries to summarise... basically, I've not been on enough, which is partly why our occupancy is a bit lower than I'd like, even though we are still quite ok
[21:31] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: the plan is as follows: go around, be on more, keep updating commonwealth stuff, then re appraise where it's all at
[21:31] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: if occupancy is still falling off, I may have to make adjustments, but, eh. I'm so busy with RL biz, it's essentially cheaper for me to let a couple regions worth of land be open
[21:32] Zxxxx Exxxxxxx: Always good to do an assessment, yes :) Provided RL cooperates (we all know that comes first)
[21:32] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: costs more time to adjust regions, than it's worth, and we are still in the black by some margin
[21:32] Zxxxx Exxxxxxx: yay :)
[21:33] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: what's going on: biz is still in demand as ever, and, i'm in the process of buying a house RL, trying to figure out which one to make an offer on 

He has since bought the house, though the patches of disconnect from the grid is still happening. He's doing what he can, but as he said, his RL consulting comes first, and has to. I think we all understand that.

[21:33] Txxxx Txxxxxxxxx: Don't let the Cat Girls distract you! You may miss the fine print.
[21:33] Zxxxx Exxxxxxx: Oh congratulations!
[21:33] Txxxx Txxxxxxxxx: xD
[21:33] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: meaning, I'm packing up the current house, and it's over 100F outside all day, and not a lot cooler at night
[21:33] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: fine print? meow....
[21:34] Txxxx Txxxxxxxxx: xD Congrats. I just moved in 91 degree heat. I share the wealth. Hah.
[21:34] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: i'm not leaving OC, which is complifying things of course
[21:34] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: yah way too hot for this.
[21:34] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: we have a famously bad real estate market
[21:35] Txxxx Txxxxxxxxx: I probably couldn't afford a house there as a teacher unless I sold a kidney.
[21:35] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: anyway that's the gist of it all, plus, I took a day for myself yesterday... went surfing at Trails
[21:36] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: yah it's a nasty market here... sigh. but, i've already got a house here so it's more of a trade kinda
[21:36] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: is bone tired as the waves had serrrrious power at trails
[21:37] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: not even that big, but wow what a push, i think it's the south swell
[21:37] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: which is why i wasnt on yesterday
[21:37] Zxxxx Exxxxxxx: Good that you got some relaxation time, though :)
[21:37] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: that, and the classic 'yep i missed a few sunscreen spots' dorky tan
[21:37] Wxxxxxxxx Jxxxxxxx: Ouch.
[21:38] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: the plan is to stay alive a bit longer if possible, through cardio :)
[21:38] Zxxxx Exxxxxxx: :D
[21:38] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: yah remember the ah, the 'bad guy' in the Avatar movie with the blue people?
[21:38] Cxxxxxx Fxxxxxxx: WHICH ONE?
[21:38] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: he had claw marks on his face kinda?
[21:38] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: the... heh yea
[21:38] Cxxxxxx Fxxxxxxx: oh that one
[21:38] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: the really aggressive one
[21:39] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: well guess what happens if you sorta forget to finish one side of your face...
[21:39] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: oopsie.
[21:39] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: you get a sunburn pattern like that.
[21:40] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: i'm sort of a walking ad for Monster energy drink :(

Could be worse.

[21:40] Zxxxx Exxxxxxx: awwww, ouch
[21:40] Zxxxx Exxxxxxx: I hope you have some aloe
[21:40] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: i do
[21:41] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: i feel guilty taking leaves off it tho
[21:41] Zxxxx Exxxxxxx: awesome then, the burned skin really drinks that up :)
[21:41] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: it's not the plant's fault i was stupid
[21:41] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: yes :)
[21:41] Zxxxx Exxxxxxx: they grow back, think of it like getting a hair cut for the plant :)
[21:41] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: aloe has strangely thick leafs
[21:41] Zxxxx Exxxxxxx: yups
[21:41] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: i feel bad, it's not like just picking off a maple leaf
[21:42] Zxxxx Exxxxxxx: dew eet
[21:42] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: hehe
[21:42] Zxxxx Exxxxxxx: :D
[21:42] Emilly Orr: It'll grow back. Succulents are forgiving.
[21:42] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: then you got to slice it up to get the goup to come out
[21:42] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: i've been abusing this one for a long time
[21:42] Emilly Orr: Or split the leaf. Either way works.
[21:43] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: it's probably screaming to the Avatar spiritual thingie by now, and pointing a finger at me
[21:44] Zxxxx Exxxxxxx: lol
[21:45] Zxxxx Exxxxxxx: I'd chance it, sunburn on my Irish skin is no joke :)
[21:45] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: yah it doesn't take long... and this was down by the san onofre nuclear reactor
[21:46] Zxxxx Exxxxxxx: yikes
[21:46] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: i have thought of an art project I'd like to do, if ever I became an artist
[21:46] Zxxxx Exxxxxxx: what's that?
[21:46] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: the san onofre power plant has a very distinctive appearance
[21:46] Zxxxx Exxxxxxx: lol yes it does lol
[21:46] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: let me find a picture...
[21:46] Zxxxx Exxxxxxx: I know it well
[21:47] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: that's for anyone who has never seen it
[21:47] Zxxxx Exxxxxxx: heh
[21:48] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: it's a verrry distinctive shape.
[21:48] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: my art project would be as follows:
[21:48] Zxxxx Exxxxxxx: quite a landmark
[21:48] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: two VERY LARGE cloth triangles, one covering each dome.
[21:49] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: i would leave it to the viewer's interpretation
[21:49] Zxxxx Exxxxxxx chuckles
[21:50] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: not stretched too tightly, and absolutely covering the tops.
[21:50] Wxxxxxxxx Jxxxxxxx: A coat of paint wouldn't hurt either.
[21:50] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: heh
[21:50] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: i'd call it: Welcome To California
[21:50] Wxxxxxxxx Jxxxxxxx: T-shirt triangles with a bit of padding?
[21:51] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: the domes would supply all the padding necessary
[21:53] Zxxxx Exxxxxxx: The title is great :)
[21:53] Wxxxxxxxx Jxxxxxxx: Something one actually could do in augmented reality..
[21:53] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: indeed! looks balefully at his old project computer for that.
[21:57] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: (deals with a RL distraction) ~ I've got to log, but by all means, if anyone can gather help for Inworldz, spread the word.
[21:57] Zxxxx Exxxxxxx: Take care, [Dxx]
[21:57] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: ^^
[21:57] Wxxxxxxxx Jxxxxxxx: Journey well.

That was it, and I probably left in too much beyond the actual InWorldz coverage, but hey. For what it's worth, there you go. If anyone knows anything else, let me know.

oh my god, I see how everything is torn in the river deep

Something fairly creepy happened tonight--I wanted to take some casual shots of an outfit, and remembered there was a land connected to ShenaniganS that might work, so I ported there with the express purpose of crossing back into that forest. Only...there didn't seem to be anything there.

Oh, the music club was still there, but everywhere the club wasn't, all the surrounding land, had been dropped by a good ten meters and was now bare sand.



In the above image, just to give you an idea of what I was seeing, I am the miniscule figure in red in the extreme lower left, and in the upper left, nearly in the left corner, is a reddish barn bedecked in lights, surrounded by greenery. That's ShenaniganS.

While I was trying to figure out what had happened, I must have passed an inviter, and a group dropdown--I thought--popped up, so I closed it, then Annie chatted me up:

[22:23] Annie (shenannyannie): Hello Emilly - Music Lands is a group for venues that play great music by DJ's or with Live Performers. You'll get news of events daily from several venues and it will save you a few group slots.

Annie's name is left unanonymized for reasons that will become clear.

[22:24] Emilly Orr: Do you know what happened to the rest of the land? I think the Forest of Astray?

As it turns out, I was wrong--the Forest of Astray is a different sim, though also very pretty.

[22:24] Annie (shenannyannie): What was that?
[22:25] Emilly Orr: There used to be a forested sim connected to Shenanigans. Do you know what happened to it?
[22:25] Annie (shenannyannie): Sorry, what was that?

That's when I figured it out.

[22:25] Emilly Orr: Oh, you're a bot?
[22:25] Annie (shenannyannie): That's me. I chat, therefore I am.
[22:25] Emilly Orr: Well, drat. Thanks for your help.
[22:25] Annie (shenannyannie): It's my pleasure to help.

I admit, this one threw me--usually I can identify bots pretty well, or at least, independent AI constructs. But the first time we spoke, back on January 10th, I didn't pick up on it.

[2019/01/10 23:35] Annie (shenannyannie): Hello Emilly - Music Lands is a group for venues that play great music by DJ's or with Live Performers. You'll get news of events daily from several venues and it will save you a few group slots.
[2019/01/10 23:36] Emilly Orr: Oh, thanks! Mostly doing a photo project, but I do like the look of the place.

I was talking about both the forest lands connected to Shenanigan's, and the beach chairs that used to be in front of the club, thinking they were connected to the club itself.

[2019/01/10 23:36] Annie (shenannyannie): Like you should be on a magazine cover.
[2019/01/10 23:36] Emilly Orr smiles.
[2019/01/10 23:36] Annie (shenannyannie): Say that one more time?
[2019/01/10 23:36] Emilly Orr: It's fine. Just exploring, mainly.
[2019/01/10 23:36] Annie (shenannyannie): Agreed!

I just thought she was odd, or not a native English speaker, and had finished the photos I needed for that project, so I went on with things. Very odd, though, the entire encounter tonight.



This was in the forested area, up in some ruins. You can see light-bedecked trees behind the stone archway to the side.



And this was near where the port-in point was. The path leading up from the pier, and all the flowers, led to the ruins.

I don't think I spent enough time in this spot to really resonate with it, but it was pretty, and very natural. For that, if nothing else, it will be missed.

my mouth kept moving and my mind went dead

This was a controversy that didn't need to happen.

[09:58] Txxxxxx Txxxxxx: could some of you help to fill the midnight mania board at [hair store]? .. it doesnt fill since weeks :/ and i really want the hair .. also luckyboards here ... for both no group needed
[09:58] Txxxxxx Txxxxxx: [SLUrl for hair store]

Now, even though I'm omitting the store's name and SLUrl, they were perfectly fine to post in the group. It's even in the format we want for announcements in the group: no more than three lines, name of the business, whether it's a free join group or no group needed, and where to go. Simple, easy, done.

It was this next bit that crossed the line.

[09:59] Txxxxxx Txxxxxx: [Gyazo link which I'm omitting just to make the point]
[09:59] Pxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: what kind of hair is it and does it come with a hud for color ?
[09:59] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: no outside links

In line with previous Scenes from a Chat, bolding the names of actual mods for groups.

[09:59] Txxxxxx Txxxxxx: not sure to be honest .. i assume its fatpack
[09:59] Rxxxxxxxx Rxxxx: NO outside links here please
[09:59] Txxxxxx Txxxxxx: whats an outside link?

*coughs* "What is an outside link"? Really, this is a question you need to ask??

[10:00] Pxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: that was just a acreen shot of screen GAYAZO

"Gayazo"? I'm going to assume that's just a typo, not commentary.

[10:00] Rxxxxxxxx Rxxxx: a link outside Second life like a gyazo or an URL
[10:00] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: its not allowed
[10:00] Txxxxxx Txxxxxx: an url is defo inside
[10:00] Txxxxxx Txxxxxx: i mean an SL url
[10:00] Rxxxxxxxx Rxxxx: a SLurl is in SL.
[10:01] Pxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: that was just an innocent screen shot not a website not a porno

I'm morbidly amused that you want to reassure everyone your friend was not trying to post porn. I mean, thanks for trying, but a), that wasn't the issue, and b), she'd already been told not to post outside links.

[10:01] dxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: gyazo is a url not slurl
[10:01] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: rules arerules tho
[10:01] Rxxxxxxxx Rxxxx: itis not allowed, which part don't you understand?

Apparently all the parts between "it" and "allowed".

[10:01] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx:
[10:02] Txxxxxx Txxxxxx: the part where i pasted the slurl of [the hair store]
[10:02] Rxxxxxxxx Rxxxx: that was allowed just not the Gyazo

It's not hard. Just read the rules.

[10:02] Pxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: sorry [Txxxxxx] i appolgize on behalf of the overeactions

These aren't overreactions. These are mods telling your friend to stop being an idiot.

[10:02] Txxxxxx Txxxxxx: i still dont understand it though
[10:02] Emilly Orr: While there has been far less spoofing of Gyazo as a domain into SL, as there have been spoofing of MP and Second Life links into SL, the rules were established so that no outside links posted in this group could lead to hacking of accounts of group members, [Rxxxxx].
[10:03] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: yup exactly
[10:03] dxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: o.0? i know, i was telling them gyazo isnt an inside link

My apologies, then.

[10:03] Rxxxxxxxx Rxxxx: Emily explained it perfectly
[10:03] Nxxxxx Txxxxxx: oh yeah ..that reminds me ..[Rxxx] when I was online someone posted a outside link very early this morning which was gyazo :-)
[10:03] xxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: how can I show a screenshot??
[10:03] mxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: what emilly said.
[10:03] Emilly Orr: Gyazo is an outside link, because it originated on a website outside SL. Even if it's a screenshot of something IN SL, it uses software outside SL.
[10:03] Txxxxxx Txxxxxx: so you bann gyazo from your group .. a widely used tool in sl .. so noone gets hacked by the altavista scam?

Pretty much, yeah. It can get harsh at times, and since there isn't a fully in-SL screencap service, yeah, it makes it hard to share screenshots if what we're looking for is to have people help us identify something. But none of the rules of this group were made lightly, or without consideration.

[10:04] Txxxxxx Txxxxxx: can be paste links from the SLf and o blog?
[10:04] mxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: it's a full ban on ALL outside links
[10:04] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: smh....
[10:04] Rxxxxxxxx Rxxxx: we simply do not allow ANY outside link, not Gyazo nor any other screenshot
[10:04] dxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: there have been more than just altervita scams
[10:04] Emilly Orr: It's a broad brush used to protect everyone. And no, [Txxxxxx], no links from the SLF and no blog without approval.
[10:04] Axxxxxxxxxxxx Sxxxxxxx: [Txxxxxx]. only mods can post external links. This is to ensure the safety of all gorup members.
[10:04] Txxxxxx Txxxxxx: great read btw : [and omitting the blog post she linked from the group to make the point]

What is WRONG with you? You were JUST told!

[10:05] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: yuppers
[10:05] Emilly Orr: When you see an outside link posted by someone in bold text? That means they think it's safe.
[10:05] Emilly Orr: [Txxxxxx]...
[10:05] mxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: again you were JUST told not to post outside links.
[10:05] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: smh peeps dont listen
[10:05] Rxxxxxxxx Rxxxx: righht I just told you that outside links were not allowed
[10:05] Txxxxxx Txxxxxx: i guess i just want to be banned from the group now
[10:05] dxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: wow
[10:05] Emilly Orr: Apparently.
[10:05] Axxxxxxxxxxxx Sxxxxxxx: [Txxxxxx], that is an external link. We just said you cannot post it. Only mods can

How many times do we have to restate the same things? She's either really, really clueless and should be having problems standing upright and breathing at the same time, or she's being deliberately obtuse and stubborn about it.

[10:06] Pxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: if was an SLfree and offer bog associated with the group page

No. Not unless it's posted by a mod. What did everyone JUST say?

[10:08] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: wish people would read rules ugh save alot of trouble

You could have stopped at "Wish people would read", but I get it. The rules are clearly posted in the info box for the group, plus they're repeated in group chat at least once a week if not more.

[10:09] Axxxxxxxxxxxx Sxxxxxxx: regardless [Pxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] only mods can pst links
[10:09] nxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: still you banning people without looking into ...

[10:07] Second Life: Incoming message from [Rxxxxxxxx Rxxxx]
[10:07] Rxxxxxxxx Rxxxx: You will be removed from the SL F and O group
[10:08] Rxxxxxxxx Rxxxx: You have been ejected from 'SL frees and offers' by [Rxxxxxxxx Rxxxx].

[10:10] Txxxxxx Txxxxxx: LOL
[10:10] Rxxxxxxxx Rxxxx: not even a link to our own SL F and O blog is allowed, only MODS can post outside links
[10:10] Rxxxxxxxx Rxxxx: so true
[10:11] Emilly Orr: Well, if it was [Txxxxxx], she directly violated a rule after being told, but she's still here. I'd say it was you, but you're still here, so I'm confused.
[10:11] Rxxxxxxxx Rxxxx: posting IMs is against the ToS. But as you can see she was NOT banned just removed for breaking the rules twice. The group is free. She can join back any time.

And that's pretty much where it ended. It's still vaguely disturbing that something like this happens about once a week in this group, sheerly because people don't read. So tragic.

they’ll have to come and take us with the force of ten trains

Interested in creepy nostalgia? Atlas Obscura has you covered. I still occasionally have nightmares about The Girl Who Trod on the Loaf.

And note from a friend for Firefox users--this is a guide to securing privacy on Firefox, due to some recent updates to the browser. (I'm on Chrome, so it wouldn't work for me.)

I went to the Far Away tonight, which I hadn't traveled to for far too long.



There are still a lot of places to pause and take pictures, many with built-in animations, and they still look good.



Of course, I found the train car in the center of the parcel. Because of course I did.



It has one...very...interesting...pose...on the roof.



I still think this is worth a visit, and I think that's why AM Radio, or friends, kept the installation up. Remember, the Far Away was originally just an art piece, but...it still speaks to people. It still speaks to me.



And I'm okay with that. I grew up in very many places beyond the grid, but many of them were farms. I have walked out into wheat fields, when the stalks are green, and when they're dry and yellow. I have seen yellow skies just before heavy rain. I have been on farms with abandoned farm equipment, and windmills, and corrugated steel structures off in the distance. To some part of my soul, this still feels like...home.

I was glad to return. And glad it's still up. And I'm pretty sure...no...I know...I'm not the only one.

darlin’, you’re senseless, you’re a truck with no brakes

Oh, here we go...I'm going to get comments on this one.

First, a bit of setup: Because I requested a small vial of holy water once from a certain company, I got on their mailing list, which apparently included emails. They've been, in general, mid-level hysterical, though not worth sharing, save for the one that was freaking out so hard about the Satanic Christmas tree in...Santa Monica? San Diego? One of those.

Anyway, this one came under the title of So...what about same-sex "marriage"? In quotes, yes. And it went from there:

Dear Ms. {my name},

It is a war.

It is not a war. It has never been a "war", in the traditional sense, though there have been casualties and great losses. But it is not a "war". Let's make that plain.

Borrowing from the analogy in Saint Ignatius’ spiritual retreats, there are those who fight under the Flag of Jesus and those who fight under the Flag of the World, The Devil and the Flesh.

And that is just so much hogwash, ten liters of hogwash. Y'all can "fight" under the flag of Jesus all you like, we'll be over here not fighting under the friendlier banner of equality and understanding. For all.

There are those doing everything to destroy marriage and the family and those defending it and standing up for it no matter what.

Again, you are so wrong here, it's just astounding. NO ONE in the various marriage-for-all movements around this country, and elsewhere, around the world, has ever intended to "destroy" marriage. Instead, what we want is the same rights that heterosexuals have: the right to visit our partners in the hospital, the right to file taxes jointly, the right to raise children together, the right to make burial arrangements, should our partners pass on, and the right to the survivor's pension if there is one. Nothing more. Just the same rights that straights have. This diminishes straight marriage in no way, this devalues straight marriage in no way, this "attacks" straight marriage in no way. All we want is to be treated the same as all other citizens, where marriage, caregiving, financial dealings, child-rearing, and funerary traditions are concerned.

It is the same old story. You are either for Christ or against Him.

Why does it always come down to this? It's not a war. It's not a fight. We can be Christian and want same-sex marriage. We can be atheist and want same-sex marriage. We can be pagan and want same-sex marriage, Muslim, Buddhist, Shinto...the religion doesn't matter. It's not about faith. It's about human rights. Don't you get that?

As I write, prayer warriors are gearing up for 3,000+ rosary rallies in public locations all across America this March in defense of God’s marriage, praying and saying:

Marriage = One man + one woman!

It was bolded in the original, so I bolded it here. And this part just made me roll my eyes. "God's marriage". Really? "God's marriage". God's idea of marriage, or at least the Biblical idea of marriage, featured:

• underage partnership, or at least, very young marriage (Ezekiel 16:7-8, see also the accepted Biblical definition of puberty being 10 to 12 years of age)
• forcible marriage of a widow to a family member of her former spouse (specifically Genesis 38:6-10, but there are other passages
• accusations of adultery ending in death for both parties (Leviticus 20:10)
• "marriage" that includes sleeping with both the wife, and any of her slaves or servants (Genesis 16)
• rape (specifically in the cases of captives of war, but also direct rape)
• forcible "marriage" of slaves to each other (Exodus 21:4, with the specific instruction that followed that after seven years the man was freed from slavery, but the woman and any children remained slaves)
• multiple wives (too many passages to name)
• incest (Genesis 20:11-12)

Do any of these passages sound like states that are desirable in 2019? Cultures change. Ideals change. We no longer fear washing more than once a week. Most of us no longer exile a woman to a tiny unheated hut in the wilderness during her bleeding time. We have embraced the joy of plumbing. Marriage can change too. It is in the nature of humanity to grow, to evolve, to alter, to adapt. All things must adapt.

I am writing you today to ask for your support, your prayers and sacrifices.

January 23rd is the Feast day of the Betrothal of Our Lady and Saint Joseph – the perfect models of what God wants marriage to be.

"Perfect" is something of a relative term. If anyone truly thinks the marriage of a 14-year-old to a man in his twenties, followed by a pregnancy by someone or something else, as a "perfect marriage"--well, your thought processes may well be the problem.

Sadly, you and I know how the Sacrament of marriage has suffered in the hands of a Christ-less culture...

Do I? What these people need to realize is that their ideas of what makes a "perfect marriage" has nothing to do with what makes a "legal marriage". They want a "perfect" marriage, one man, one woman, one God--well, there are plenty of churches to do just that. Legal marriage is a different animal.

Here is a quick look back at when marriage was valued in America:

In 1888 the Supreme Court ruled that marriage is "an institution in the maintenance of which in its purity the public is deeply interested, for it is the foundation of the family and of society, without which there would be neither civilization nor progress."

Again, bolded by them, so I left it in, but they're talking about the Maynard v. Hill case in Oregon, wherein the end result was divorce was declared absolutely illegal. It had very little to do with "God's marriage". And of course, later, in 2015, was the Obergefell v. Hodges case, wherein marriage was expanded, legally, to include both male-female marrages and same-sex marriages. Without ever demeaning, devaluing or destroying "God's marriage".

Then in 1942 that same high court said that marriage is "fundamental to the very existence and survival of the race."

Actually, the conclusion of the Williams v. North Carolina case in 1942 was that federally, both marriages and divorces should be recognized, even across state lines. It had nothing to do with preserving "God's marriage".

The rest of it descends into hysterical nonsense about men marrying dogs, which has zero place in a logical discussion of the expansion of legal marriage, and perhaps far more to do with the disturbing fantasies of Christian fundamentalists involving bestiality. I won't entertain this further, except to say at one point in this country, black men and women did not have equal rights with white men and women, and several ministers pointed to the Bible to defend that. They were wrong. At one point in this country, both Chinese and Irish immigrants were considered less than human, and several ministers pointed to the Bible to defend that too. They were also wrong. And they are wrong here in every way.

Or, put another way: the only person "destroying" your so-called "holy marriage" is you--when you as a Christian step outside the bonds of it into another person's arms, or divorce your spouse before they naturally expire. Anyone who wants to marry someone of the same gender has no designs on your Christian marriage at all. So wake up, sit down and stop screaming nonsense, and let the adults decide these things. Because you're clearly incapable of doing so.

I’ve seen your junkyards of tractors and barbed wire

A short, maniacal snippet.

[21:26] Exxxxxxxx Pxxxxx: Why bother with developing nuclear weapons when a sufficient quantity of cavorite excited in a steam-generator powered magnetic field can blow the entire planet's atmosphere right off? It is almost like some of the country are not even trying with their doomsday machines.
[21:26] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: yea if you are gonna be evil, have some style, seriously
[21:27] Exxxxxxxx Pxxxxx: I must give the current Tsar credit there. He seems a bit of a thuggish chap, but he does do doomsday machines better than the rest.
[21:27] Exxxxxxxx Pxxxxx: A super-cavitating doomsday tsunami generating torpedo is very steampunk.
[21:28] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: seeing that... would be worth the price of admission! (probably death, but yea)
[21:29] Dxxxxxx Sxxxx: a more targeted weapon might be better... just think if you had a weapon that slowed down wifi 10% per day. All millennials would kill themselves in a week

Sadly, I can wholeheartedly agree with this. I moved into a new place once, and it was fourteen days before cable--and internet with it--was established. I nearly went mad inside those empty walls, with only unpacking and sleeping to do.

(Though to be fair, I also acquired some virus just before moving in, so in those fourteen days, I was also terribly sick, which didn't help. Amusingly, the last day we spent moving out of that place, a wasp stung me, so for several days after we left that house, I was also sick and feverish. Life is synchronous.)


In the meantime, the farm at Nythorvaldshavn, named Kildal Indre, is coming along very nicely.

This is the worship altar, for rituals that center on farming, fertility, basic household rituals--it's not a fancy, formal ritual space, and it's not intended to be.



An overview of the farm behind the altar area, showing some of the livestock.



The sheep and cow pens.



Finally, there's a small apple orchard, and two small homes--one for the farm girls caring for the farm, and the other rigged for storing and making cheeses, cream and butter, and general cooking.

Nythorvaldshavn is also shaping up, but it's all part and parcel of things--as the sim grows, as it gets more lived in, it starts to feel more natural. Just like the farm--it started out as just a flat green plain with crops. Now, it's a working farm--outbuildings, orchards, crops to tend, animals to milk, shear, and feed. Structures taking the place of simplicity. All things grow in this way.

I read it too, what does it mean?

Snippet from an earlier chat:

[10:45] Xxxxxx Yxxx: i read somewhere that shame is something others visit upon us and guilt is something we visit upon ourselves
[10:45] Jx Qxxxxxxx: Nobody can make you feel bad about yourself without your permission
[10:46] Bxxxxxxx Lxxx: Hmm; people make me feel bad about myself all the time, and I never gave them leave to do so....

It's kind of an inner strength thing, and it's definitely not one size fits all. Some days people get to me, some days they don't, and it depends on how secure or insecure I, personally, feel at that time. And it's not an easy balance to strike--too little self-assurance, we are easier wounded; too much, and we become arrogant braggadocios who have no self-restraint. A little humility is good for the soul, but too much can injure. Walk that line carefully.

In other news, today's Scene from a Chat is all about hair.

[21:51] Lxx Mxxxxxxx: hey, i need some suggestions! whats everybodys favorite hair creator? (besides truth! )
feeling stumped on where to look next for some reason
[21:52] Lxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: no.match is good
[21:52] Rxxxx Fxxxxxxxx: Besom is good
[21:52] Pxxxxxxx Sxxx: Magicka is fun
[21:53] sxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: foxy
[21:53] sxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Doux is my fave.
[21:53] Zxxxxx Wxxxxxxx: Exile and Moon
[21:53] Emilly Orr: Besides Truth? Astrology.
[21:53] Sxxxxx Nxxxxxxxx: Olive
[21:53] Nxxxxxxxxxx Sxxx: Exile
[21:53] txxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Wasabi
[21:53] xxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Hotties

I couldn't find any hair store called Hotties, I looked.

[21:53] sxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: exile
[21:53] Emilly Orr: My big three are Truth, Astrology, and Wasabi Pills, with Oblivion and Calico for medieval styles.
[21:53] Sxxxxx Nxxxxxxxx: no.match
[21:54] kxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: besom is good also
[21:54] Nxxxxxx Cxxxxxxx: I like eXxEsS :)
[21:54] Sxxxxx Fxxxxxxxx: magika, Shi, Monso, Tableau, Pheonix

Closest I could find for Shi, no idea if it's the right business.

[21:54] exxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Besome, Tram, Bonbon, Monso, barberyumyum, Taketomi, too many to list.

Do we think she meant DP Yumyum? Because that's what I put in.

[21:54] Nxxxxxx Cxxxxxxx: I like eXxEsS
[21:54] Sxxxxx Hxxxxx: Doe, Limerence, Sintiklia
[21:54] sxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: DOUX
[21:54] kxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: TRUTH
[21:54] sxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxxx: No Match or Argrace
[21:54] Lxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: exxess is good too
[21:54] kxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: A and A or Alli and Ali....Radex

I can't get behind Alli and Alli. She still mostly makes flexi hair, it's just not holding up. And Radex...well, they seem to be using some very old textures.

[21:54] Emilly Orr: She said besides Truth. :p
[21:54] Nxxxxxxxxxx Sxxx: and don't forget Argrace
[21:54] Lxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Argrace is nice
[21:54] gxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: exile
[21:54] hxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Dela ... I look at others and try demos, and always go back to Dela
[21:54] kxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: TRUTH
[21:54] Oxx Zxxx: Wasabi
[21:54] cxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Phoenix and Sintiklia

Around here was the point I decided that I really didn't need to link every hair store location every time they were mentioned. There were starting to be quite a few repeats.

[21:55] exxxxx Mxxxxx: navy and copper
[21:55] Axx Exxxx: argrace
[21:55] Emilly Orr: That is another one, though--Argrace has the ONLY decent wet hair on the market, for post-swim, during-swim, or shower events. :D
[21:55] Qxxxxxxxxxx Dxxxxxxx: argrace
[21:55] Kxxxxx Sxxxxx: ELIKATIRA, doe, Wasabi Pills, Exile
[21:55] cxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Little Bones or Doux
[21:55] Nxxxxxxxxxx Sxxx: Navy+Copper have been doing some nice things too
[21:55] sxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Analog Dog
[21:55] Gxxxxxxx Gxxxxx: Exile are good too
[21:55] cxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Doux is good or Little Bones
[21:55] Lxx Mxxxxxxx: you guys are the best thank you sorry for making the entire chat explode lol

It was interesting to see EVERYONE light up and start firing off their faves.

[21:55] axxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Foxy
[21:55] Oxx Zxxx: [taketomi]_, truth, magika, olive, exile, Alice project
[21:55] Axx Exxxx: tram wet hair is better than argrace's wet hair IMO
[21:55] Kxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: all are good ones
[21:55] gxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Burley
[21:55] Cxxxxx Bxxxxxxx: barberyumyum
[21:56] Pxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Exile, lockandtuft and Little Bones are my personal faves
[21:56] Oxx Zxxx: yeah sorry [taketomi]_ is now Burly great hair!
[21:56] Emilly Orr: Haven't seem Tram's wet hair, so I'll go look.
[21:56] Emilly Orr: Yeah, and Alice Project is now Astrology. Both stores are still open, but the new stuph is now coming out of Astrology.
[21:57] axxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: really, didn't know that cool
[21:57] Lxx Mxxxxxxx: i learned about some new stores today thanks to you all haha thank you again! its really appreciated

I know I, at least, found a new place to check out. Here's to hoping this gives someone else at least one new place, too.

[21:57] mxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Olive is v. cute and still has their sale going. back back wall is 185 l and near the back wall is 100 o3o love their fatpacks.
[21:58] Lxx Mxxxxxxx: oh goodness i know i raided olive completely because of their sale haha!!!
[21:58] mxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: also they have a ton of lucky boards and a MM for a fatpack no group needed
[21:58] Lxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: no.match has free hair just join group...whole bunch on second floor
[21:58] Lxx Mxxxxxxx: seriously for those that dont know, olive's sale on rn is amazing ;D recommended
[21:58] mxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Sometime i am going to break down and nuke their gacha machines. they got lots of cute disney gacha hair
[21:59] Lxx Mxxxxxxx: ooh yes i have one of the ariel hairs its really cute

I don't know when Olive's hair sale ends; I only know it's been on for a while. So if you really love Olive hair, get there! Otherwise, wander some of the new makers you may not have heard of.