are you here with me?
I don't...I've never been able to un-love, easily. There are nights I envy those who can throw others aside blithely; that's never been me. I love until it's--emotionally, psychologically, sometimes physically--beaten out of me, and even then...I love, but distantly. I love, but I know I've lost. I love, but I mourn.
"just looking out on the day of another dream
where you can't get what you want, but you can get me
Tonight has a flavor of more, because there has been another loss. It's not just the one I can't have; it's the one bright, shining spark who deserved more time. But can't we all say that, at some point? Still, Ktahdn has passed, and it hit me hard enough I can't imagine the level of grieving for those closer. He was...art with a pulse, in a lot of ways. Living thread of music and sculpture and words. And he will be missed.
so let's set out to sea, love
'cause you are my medicine when you're close to me
when you're close to me
In the interim of hearing the news, and feeling the loss of presence, if nothing else, of a lot of loves...I've been building. I finally finished the shore path I started in 2021 and never got back to. Now it leads from the front of the garden, down to the Fish and Whistle, the new pub by the fishing area. Linkages slowly forming, day by day. And the island in the Dark Sea got leveled in a mis-click, so...I raised a new one. But before, it was a gentle swell of curve, and now...well. Now it's an imposing bluff. Bit higher than I intended.
so call in the submarines, 'round the world we'll go
does anybody know, love
if we're looking out on the day of another dream?
Still, now it has a path too. It's a bit trickier coming down, than going up, because of the steep angle, but that's also why there's a fence. So no one falls off who doesn't want to.
Sometimes everyone falls, though, in spite of our best intentions.
if you can't get what you want, then you come with me
At the top it's much the same as it was before--sheltering trees, a place to stop and rest, the drifting fog between the standing stones. I removed the memorial that used to be up there, as well--though that was designed by Alia for Finn, when he passed, so...maybe it's time that returns. Not sure yet.
up on Melancholy Hill
sits the manatee, love
In other removalist news, there's only one thing left on the Krakenstorm sim, and after the owner of that ship is contacted, and removes it, it will likely be returning to the Linden mists. Though there has been a nibble of interest in renting it--we'll see where that goes, but honestly, I think we'll end up losing it. Going from five sims, down to three, now that New Alexandria's renter has moved on. Passages, transitions, losses. We're in the thick of them.
just looking out for the day when you're close to me
when you're close to me
The one bit of good news in all of this--Darkmere rises, and its denizens return. Which is kind of funny--its duke and master has been a friend for so long, but he'd wandered from the grid for several years. Still, when he returned, word went out, and his people joined him. And I'd met only a handful, once or twice, most I never met in all those long years between the then, and the now, but--they've become some of the joys of my virtual life. Scrim Pinion is such a talent, and he, like Violet, always introduces me to some new song, or new musical group, that then I must dig up and learn more about. Lilly his lovely wife, quieter, gothically amused, but also a joy to spend time with. Diana their reprobate third, eternally searching for new shops (an affliction I share) and the highest of surfaces to sit upon (an affliction I don't). Mourna, shy but present, Vertigo, all fire and electric energy, Charlemagne the genuinely maddened, but in good ways...and still the likeliest candidate to crash a sim on pure accident...(Scrim calls Chaz' inventory a level one cognitohazard. He's likely not wrong. Chaz reminds me palpably of Stiv of the before times, the long-lost dead god of Enigma)...and all the rest...They're good people. Fun people. Funny, not infrequently. And most of them had left the grid, too.
Suppose that shows you the pull one person can have.
when you're close to me...
Now I just need to find ways to lessen the pull.
(The song lyrics used are from "On Melancholy Hill", of course, by the Gorillaz, from the Plastic Beach album released in 2010. Though this one might also be apropos...even if I can't figure out if I'm him, or her, in this scenario. Maybe I'm both...which is far from comforting.)
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