'cos it was sink or swim and I went down, down, down

[Looking For Group] varus@silentxhawkeye: lf3m 3cw 13k+ for TOS
[Looking For Group] TAE@bordz11: 12k GWF lfg SP/FH/CK soul/vorp exp
[Looking For Group] Prophetic Insanity@theoriginalmad: 14k CW stone/gvorpal lfg CN
[Looking For Group] Oligaar@celsduynn: Need a last DPS 12k+ for epic Karru - No zerg - wisp class and GS, thx
[Looking For Group] Anneihilate@annetagonist: LF1M DC SP
[Looking For Group] Deli@dblajev: LFM CW DC GWF for SP greed PM me GS
[Looking For Group] Chi Chi@yinsdarkside: HR 12.5gs Stone/soul LF epic DV or MC
[Looking For Group] Thedel@killerfu11: LF 3 more EXP¡¡ to KARR 1xCW 1xDC, 1xGWF 12k+
[Looking For Group] Angelica@kayae: 15k cw lfg FH PK
[Looking For Group] Arasys@sixxftundr209: ==== 14.7K TR LFG TOS ====
[Looking For Group] MyBadGirl@misabor: CW 13.2 LFG MC 3/3
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[Looking For Group] Myopicokin@myopico: LF3M for MC 3/3 dd event 13k+, CW, DC
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[Looking For Group] Ant Monster@lvl99looter: :::::::::::::::::::LF GF/DC for SP:::::::::::::::::
[Looking For Group] Krexor@shandais: Lf 2 ****** CW/dc ***** MC Multiply runs ***** GS 13k+
[Looking For Group] Quivalen@nahsi: === LF2m for MC 3/3 dd *GWF and DC* pm gs please ===
[Looking For Group] Jovaini@jovaini: @@@@ +15k GWF LMF FH last spot !! @@@@

I remember the good old days of gaming...when people actually spoke in full words.

I miss those days.

Out of the blue, dropped into Neverwinter's zone chat, this really strange comment:

[Zone] Joay Nightshield@sunflies: can't wait though, getting my fake dope sometime today...before you say anything, it's prefectly legal [****] I bought online, that doesn't have any THC or nasty anything

Fake...dope. The hell? So I hunted for information, and this came up, which was sort of puzzling, because the strain supposedly "invented" sounds a lot like feral hemp. Feral hemp grows wild throughout much of the midwestern US (refugee plants from industrial hemp fields, burnt in the 1930s, which only caused the seeds to spread, not die out), and because it was seeded from industrial hemp strains, never had any THC to begin with.

[Zone] Bunny Face@garboki: no THC?
[Zone] Bunny Face@garboki: isn't that what makes you high?
[Zone] Joay Nightshield@sunflies: no
[Zone] Zeth Icewind@foregottenrealms: yup

Joay's wrong, Zeth's right: THC is the psychoactive agent in marijuana. Still, if they're interested in getting high, why buy whatever it is if it doesn't contain THC, and if they're not, then why buy it at all?

[Zone] Varis Duskwalker@eerskinmana: you could always smoke bleach

Good gods, why? This is a thing? I went to Google in my naïvete, and the first thing that came up was hysterical and disturbing, but I don't think really answered the question.

[Zone] Varis Duskwalker@eerskinmana: or plastic

.....I...I don't...That's definitely not a thing...right? Because that would be incredibly toxic inhaled.

[Zone] Joay Nightshield@sunflies: I smoke Sage and potatoe flakes

Joay, you have to be pulling our legs. There's no way that's a serious thing.

[Zone] POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP@BadName45757223960: Smoke bleach, plastic? Might as well be smoking cigs

Oh, hey, hi there. I remember you, you're the guy who set up that guild. I caught a member of it in Vellosk, hiding in the bushes.



Thanks for reminding me; I've reported you for an offensively stupid character name to the mods. Welcome to the conversation.

[Zone] Bunny Face@garboki: I'm sure it is, so why is it good to have no THC?
[Zone] Varis Duskwalker@eerskinmana: Tetra hydra cannibinol

That would be tetrahydrocannabinol, actually, but hey, I guess that's being overly picky.

[Zone] Zeth Icewind@foregottenrealms: Thats amoninia

"Amoninia"?

[Zone] Zeth Icewind@foregottenrealms: car pee

Car pee? That's a thing??

[Zone] Joay Nightshield@sunflies: cause it's legal that way

So buy diviner's sage, or a bottle of mezcal or damiana liqueur; or, if you're careful, have a shot or so of absinthe. They're just as legal (in most places), and in general, they won't give you the headache that smoking ditchweed will.

[Zone] POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP@BadName45757223960: weed is legal, you live under rock?

Depends on where you live, actually. Also: idiot.

[Zone] Bunny Face@garboki: but you get none of the enjoyment of weed
[Zone] Bunny Face@garboki: it's like non-alcoholic wine
[Zone] Bunny Face@garboki: which is crap grape juice

Well, no, there are actually some makers of non-alcoholic vintages that are using vintage strains of grapes, and distilling the alcohol out. Though I do agree with the point you're making, Bunny Face. I think.

[Zone] Varis Duskwalker@eerskinmana: If you're going to rot your brain might as well burn out quickly[Zone] POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP@BadName45757223960: Weed extends life expectancy, stimulates brain cell growth, and cures over 100 illnesses including Cancer.[Zone] Bunny Face@garboki: like popping candy without the pop[Zone] Varis Duskwalker@eerskinmana: Weed is the magical drug that cures cancer now? Jeebus talk about misinformed.[Zone] POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP@BadName45757223960: Weed cures cancer by activating a CB receptor in your brain that commands the infected cancerous cells to commit suicide.

I hate to say this, but he's not entirely wrong, though more studies are definitely needed to figure out what agent in marijuana is responsible for both tumor reduction and malignant cell die-off.

Even saying that, though, still: idiot.

[Zone] Belial Rebus@potato478: And needing more food.
[Zone] Varis Duskwalker@eerskinmana: And needing to go on welfare because you're too apathetic to care about your future.

That makes no sense. No one's on welfare just to be on welfare; it's not some magical paradise with boat drinks and happy thoughts. Come on, now.

[Zone] Drizzt@elegyfordoom: that's not exactly negative, it's good to eat :)
[Zone] Bunny Face@garboki: I injected 3 whole marajuanas once...I turned gay, then I became a Christian and became ungay.

And that's when my brain fell right out of my head, reading along. How does that even work? Also, "injected 3 whole marajuanas once"?? I'm allergic to pot, and even I know it's not injected. Bunny Face, you're dangerously close to that troll/idiot level, now, yourself.

[Zone] Drizzt@elegyfordoom: ungay, is that really a thing?

I was wondering that, myself.

[Zone] archie@pappy43: i sense much troll in this one

*nodnodnods*

[Zone] Bunny Face@garboki: it's not exactly straight
[Zone] Bunny Face@garboki: it's ungay
[Zone] archie@pappy43: beware
[Zone] Berenlar Dawngazer@malberd: you re the first ungay i meet:)

To be fair, Beren has a point, too. I've met ex-gays; I don't think I've ever met any ungays.

And I really don't think Bunny Face counts.

[Zone] Zeth Icewind@foregottenrealms: lol... ure it or not dont deny it

Well, no, you could be bisexual. Or just plain asexual, though I'm thinking true asexuality is still pretty rare. Still, while there is a wide spectrum of ways to be sexual, and to express those sensual/sexual attractions, I don't think a single one defines itself using "un" as a modifier for anything.

[Zone] Varis Duskwalker@eerskinmana: Well if alcohol can make you unugly why not right?
[Zone] Bunny Face@garboki: it's like undead
[Zone] Bunny Face@garboki: and alive

What?

[Zone] Bunny Face@garboki: undead doesn't equal alive

Well, I suppose not, but...

[Zone] Joay Nightshield@sunflies: i shot it with the 22

....What?

[Zone] Varis Duskwalker@eerskinmana: Just mostly dead.
[Zone] Bunny Face@garboki: same with ungay
[Zone] Zeth Icewind@foregottenrealms: ?

I'm in the same place, Zeth.

[Zone] Joay Nightshield@sunflies: wasn't funny, first thing that guy asked was "where do you live"

I am now wholly failing to parse this entire conversation.

[Zone] Varis Duskwalker@eerskinmana: Now if we could only train the undead to work at fast food places we'd save all sorts of labor.
[Zone] Sornaxaria@unseenentity: not if they eat the customers
[Zone] Varis Duskwalker@eerskinmana: Might be a few extra fingers and ears and noses but it's to be expected.

Ew.

[Zone] Sornaxaria@unseenentity: at least you can easily see if the skeleton has been snitching food

Well, assuming the skeleton would want to snitch food...See, here's the thing, having been on both sides of fast food counters in my day. The places that work well, the places where the kitchen is clean and the employees smile and really mean it--they're the ones where management guides them with firm but easy hands. Lunch is free, or pay is significant enough that it doesn't feel like the employees are being pinched by choosing to buy lunch at work. Drinks are free, especially for employees whose main job is manning the stoves, the deep fryers, the ovens, the grills.

Conversely, every place I've worked at, or had friends who worked at, where management watched their employees as if their every second not spent actually doing hard manual labor was literally slapping food out of the mouths of starveling church orphans...well, sooner or later, you get employees who don't care. These places won't be cleaned well, they won't be maintained well, they won't be staffed by people who care, because their bosses don't trust them. In these kinds of establishments, lunch isn't free, or it's a mandatory charge; uniforms are taken out of pay and not provided; and why? If you provide the uniforms, if you provide the food, you have employees who will usually take care with their personal appearance and are grateful to be fed. If you begrudge them every scrap of food, if you tell them they can't have even a glass of ice water in a kitchen routinely over 110 degrees...you're telling them they're worthless and deserve nothing.

Which place would you rather work at? The place where you can eat what you want without worrying you're taking money necessary to pay rent from your pay, or the place where even a ten-minute break every ten hours is miserably parsed out from sour-faced managers who trust you as much as they trust a rattlesnake in their granddaughter's crib?

Skeletons stealing food. Get real.

[Zone] Varis Duskwalker@eerskinmana: And if the undead spit in your food it's most likely going to turn green. Possibly bubbling.

What is your problem with restaurant workers, Varis? Jesus Christ.

Also, EW.

[Zone] Joay Nightshield@sunflies: cause most of us here, in this room, despise green food.
[Zone] Sornaxaria@unseenentity: unless its eggs with ham of course

Okay, first, if your ham's green, throw out your ham, don't eat it. And second, how can anyone despise green food? All the lovely salad leaves are green; cucumbers, honeydew melons and limes are green; avocados, spinach and parsley are green, along with most other culinary herbs. How can you despise green food?

[Zone] Varis Duskwalker@eerskinmana: Especially if it's not pistachio

Pistachio is not actually a green food...

[Zone] Argoluth@roman1968: mint ice crem is green, I love that[Zone] Celestio@coolman4ny: not the ungays :)
[Zone] Joay Nightshield@sunflies: I stand corrected

Is it just me? Has this conversation completely gone off the rails again?

[Zone] Sornaxaria@unseenentity: spinach is also green and i happen to like that as well
[Zone] Younan@lazyjon: i dont mind some greens with my steak
[Zone] Varis Duskwalker@eerskinmana: And who here doesn't like a little wasabi?
[Zone] Joay Nightshield@sunflies: onion ring?

Wait, onions are green? What?

[Zone] Argoluth@roman1968: but I don't usually like green food, so I have to agree
[Zone] Zeth Icewind@foregottenrealms: So funny to see ppl trying to proof there self

To...uh, whom, Zeth?

[Zone] Sornaxaria@unseenentity: if its fried, order double, if its green, its trouble?

I don't understand any of this.

[Zone] Mavein Ashguard@dcolong: are gf needed at higher lvls?
[Zone] Varis Duskwalker@eerskinmana: GFs are needed at all levels. Then they become Wife 1.0, and you dont want to know the rest.

Cue massive, massive facepalming. And/or resigned sighs of disgust. Possibly together.

[Zone] Argoluth@roman1968: Fried mint ice cream?
[Zone] Argoluth@roman1968: mmmmmm
[Zone] Younan@lazyjon: gwf's are wife beaters

I...I don't...I...what?

[Zone] POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP@BadName45757223960: Meat consists of 2% animal feces. The more you know!

Did I mention the idiot portion of our show? You're it.

[Zone] Mavein Ashguard@dcolong: wife 1.0?? haha sounds rough
[Zone] Varis Duskwalker@eerskinmana: Not ALL Gay White Females are wife beaters. Just most of them.

That's it. The next time I see your name in zone chat, Varis, you are so getting put on my ignore list.

[Zone] Joay Nightshield@sunflies: GF [********] sucks, all the mobs [*******] banging on you, but at least my queue is fixed.
[Zone] Zeth Icewind@foregottenrealms: pure speculation that is

What is?

[Zone] Varis Duskwalker@eerskinmana: Damn slow leather crafters
[Zone] Vorgyrn Houndaer@armeanian: the player, has 32 O's in their name, im surprised it actually fit on the namee char create o.O

Me too. Also, he's an idiot.

[Zone] Zeth Icewind@foregottenrealms: hehe try alchemy its even wors

Alchemy only feels worse because experience isn't shown on the Alchemy bar like it's shown on the other crafting bars. It actually ranks up about as quickly as the other professions; it's just that it doesn't show a thing, until you get everything required for the next level--and then you get all of that in one fell swoop. So it seems like you're waiting forever, when really, you're just accumulating gradually like every other profession. Just the actual mechanic is different.

[Zone] Sornaxaria@unseenentity: alchemy is easy to rank up to 20 as long as you have a little godl and AD
[Zone] Vorgyrn Houndaer@armeanian: yes, and no

Well, that's true for anything in an online game, innit? Especially the ones that feature micro-transactions.

[Zone] Zeth Icewind@foregottenrealms: well i dont spend any coins on games where spammers are allowed

And...how exactly are you going to stop them? Because if no online game yet has found a foolproof method, I seriously doubt you're going to, either.

[Zone] Astral@astralzen: cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeck

Bet me that's a spammer.

[Zone] handsfree@djmindbendz: how do i make weapons and crap
[Zone] Argolath@roman1968: crap kind of makes itself.....

And we're back to poo again. Oh, gods.

[Zone] Peren Duskwalker@wifi656: how can i make healliquit?

I dunno. What's healliquit?

[Zone] Cadwallander@cadwallender: ruffage is one way
[Zone] Tenbears@tenbears22b: well to make crap you eat a bunch of stuff and wait
[Zone] handsfree@djmindbendz: im new so i still kinda dont get this yet
[Zone] handsfree@djmindbendz: is there a trainer or
[Zone] Vorgyrn Houndaer@armeanian: lolollololo

Blergh. From the surreal to the offensive, to the scatological, back to the surreal, to the sarcastic just for sarcasm's sake. People, goddamn, pick a mood. This is ridiculous.

[Zone] Folgan@ogoorovsky: IM not a pedobear
[Zone] Varis Duskwalker@eerskinmana: ^ reeeeeeally

No one said you were, Folgan! WTF?!?

[Zone] Vysage@polygrip: anyone tell me best compainion for a starting out rogue?
[Zone] Varis Duskwalker@eerskinmana: Money?
[Zone] Argolith@roman1968: cleric
[Zone] Vysage@polygrip: ty argo

Yes, thank you for actually being helpful, Argolith. Glad someone still remembers how to do that.

[Zone] Sornaxaria@unseenentity: if you run sword coast trainer you get a free dog companion
[Zone] Joay Nightshield@sunflies: waz trying to convince it to stay, not make bacon, [*******]
[Zone] Rima Skysplitter@tarkoul: did someone said steak?
[Zone] Hellfire@wylderyder: i said mis..take....
[Zone] Rima Skysplitter@tarkoul: ohhh
[Zone] Hellfire@wylderyder: oooh now u got me all hot

And we're off the rails again. I give up.