tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2135301473915671680.post178734146759305538..comments2023-12-14T18:17:52.957-08:00Comments on The Train Wreck Love Life: and you move my mind from behind the wheel when I lose controlEmilly Orrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07245643246821826101noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2135301473915671680.post-63980273291954842342009-12-31T23:49:54.293-08:002009-12-31T23:49:54.293-08:00It's why I'm often telling people that unl...It's why I'm often telling people that unlike most laymen (yes, I know there's exceptions - most of the people I know well are exceptions, lol), I've got a pretty damn good idea just how much of one's life med school and associated training will chew up a life and spit it out sideways. <br /><br />I want the training (because I'm always up for more learning)...I don't want to be the one making the mistakes after that much time awake and on shift. No f'ing way.Sphynx Soleilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08384124029613452884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2135301473915671680.post-35153353718119340612009-12-31T18:38:35.111-08:002009-12-31T18:38:35.111-08:00Miss Weatherwax,
Let me stop you there, not becau...Miss Weatherwax,<br /><br />Let me stop you there, not because I think there is any inherent wrong in being schizophrenic, just that I haven't been diagnosed as such. I don't honestly know for sure one way or the other; though a diagnosis would make things tidy, right now it's just hallucinations, migraines, occasional visual distorts...plus, I'm out of the textbook age range.<br /><br />(Technically, that just means I'm late-onset, if anything, and that happens; but mostly, I'm just saying I don't know. Yet.)<br /><br />Sphynx,<br /><br />Yay! And also, I can see it--first, that friends/family of women are more likely to say 'she just made a mistake' over 'she took her own life', but also, that med students are far more predisposed to suicide.<br /><br />It's not just ready access to drugs, either. The way we train doctors--in most countries--is brutal. It pushes and pushes and pushes until the breakdown point is reached; and then keeps pushing. It's like the girl's stories about working at the Navy nuclear power plant: <i>"Our training is better because our casualties are real."</i><br /><br />In medicine, doctors and nurses both <i>need</i> to know they can still work after 24 hours awake, 48 hours awake. They <i>need</i> to know their margin for error when they're heavily fatigued. And they <i>will</i> make mistakes; every training school on the <i>planet</i> knows this.<br /><br />But earnest zeal + access to drugs + killing patients = looking for the exits. Some people break under the pressure and stay broken. That, also, is part of the process.Emilly Orrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07245643246821826101noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2135301473915671680.post-20649011721457709342009-12-31T13:08:32.316-08:002009-12-31T13:08:32.316-08:00Found it! Finally... :)
Physician Suicide @ eMed...Found it! Finally... :) <br /><br /><a href="http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/806779-overview" rel="nofollow">Physician Suicide @ eMedicine</a><br /><br /><i>...Perhaps due in part to knowledge of and ready access to lethal means, completed suicide is far more prevalent among physicians than the public, with the most reliable estimates ranging from 1.4-2.3 times the rate in the general population. More alarming is that, after accidents, suicide is the most common cause of death among medical students. <b>Although female physicians attempt suicide far less often than their counterparts in the general population, completion rates equal those of male physicians and, thus, far exceed that of the general population (2.5-4 times the rate by some estimates).</b> A reasonable assumption is that underreporting of suicide as the cause of death by sympathetic colleagues might well skew these statistics, so the real incidence of physician suicide is possibly somewhat higher...</i>Sphynx Soleilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08384124029613452884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2135301473915671680.post-88603902084990748842009-12-31T07:57:20.732-08:002009-12-31T07:57:20.732-08:00I find your thoughts on this topic very interestin...I find your thoughts on this topic very interesting to read, as I did of course wonder what kind of reaction someone who actually had schizophrenia would have to the experience, but didn't feel I could/should ask any of the people I know to go through it and tell me! My boyfriend is actually diagnosed as schizophrenic, though he's never had hallucinations; but knowing how he responds to films, I think the negative voices would really get to him. <br /><br />I think what I get from your feedback is that the virtual hallucinations project doesn't really put across the experience of hallucinations to someone who's experienced them; I still think it does an impressive job to those that haven't, and any tool that can increase people's awareness (and hopefully compassion, given the stigma attached to mental illness), is a good thing. Especially given the attitude I've seen and heard about from some in the mental health care profession!<br /><br />I think that for most of us, knowing that someone hears voices in the traffic is something we can grasp intellectually, but cannot really imagine what it's like. The SL project may not really give us that experience, or one that represents more than a couple of individuals, but combined with a good imagination it can at least give us more awareness or insight than we had before. <br /><br />My best friend's boyfriend also has schizophrenia, but doesn't really accept that he has it. I suppose the brief glimpse into what it would be like to see and hear things in a way vaguely approximating the way he does made it easier for me to see why it would be so hard to believe people saying they weren't real. <br /><br />Very good point about the way the lack of empathy comes across in other areas, like physical disability. My other best friend uses a wheelchair, so I've seen a certain amount of that too... had one particularly appalling experience with her at an airport once. Could rant about that whole topic at some length! I've also been a "service user" of the mental health care profession for depression, and have found them acting in exactly the way you describe - making me feel like a difficult schoolgirl who was refusing to do her homework when I resisted their pressure to do things I *knew* from long experience were exactly what are bad for me. And thinking of suicide, when my boyfriend was hospitalized after an attempt, he got the same kind of reaction from his care workers - a scolding, "why didn't you warn us?". Obviously he didn't warn them because he didn't want them to stop him. Idiots.<br /><br />Anyway, I very much appreciate your sharing your point of view of the project. Am intending to write another post soon, linking here, but I think the boyfriend is wanting me to get off the computer for the evening now!Sapphire Weatherwaxhttp://sapphireweatherwax.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2135301473915671680.post-72695455358737777732009-12-31T00:08:43.298-08:002009-12-31T00:08:43.298-08:00"Do you have hallucinations?" "Well...<i>"Do you have hallucinations?" "Well, only the two." "...only the two?"</i><br /><br />Sounds kinda like the Addams Family... <br /><br />"He coughs up blood??" "Well, not like he used to..." <br /><br />I can't specifically find the article I had read before, but <a href="http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/475468" rel="nofollow">this one</a> is simaler. I'll keep looking, but it's not turning up in my email with the keywords I can think of right now. <br /><br />It may need a login, but registration is free.Sphynx Soleilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08384124029613452884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2135301473915671680.post-22456467175927618522009-12-30T15:57:51.471-08:002009-12-30T15:57:51.471-08:00Miss Weatherwax: I didn't mean in any way to d...Miss Weatherwax: I didn't mean in any way to diminish your pain, from the experience; but yes, it's very mild compared to most realities. I know the project says it was designed from two specific schizophrenics, and their responses; I would hazard a guess and assume that, when the project was being designed, both schizophrenics fell into the medically controlled camp, and were thus 'remembering', not 'seeing actively', these things.<br /><br />Could it be a trigger for someone who's unaware they hallucinate? Yes. Me, I'm aware of it. I am in tune enough with my 'reality', at least what I consider it to be, that I'm pretty sure what is and isn't real. And I've been able to integrate subjective and objective reality to the point that I'm reasonably unmedicated for someone who has active hallucinations.<br /><br />(Something that still amuses me: intake interview with a psychiatrist. "Do you have hallucinations?" "Well, only the two." "...only the two?")<br /><br />I honestly think that's the breakdown--most people who hear/see/experience things the rest of us do not, are not subsequently <i>aware</i>, consciously, that they have experiences the rest of us don't. Maybe those of us who know we hallucinate, <i>know</i>--and know our experiences are not everyone else's.<br /><br />You'll see a great lack of empathy in other places, as well--as Amanda Biggs' <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4c5_3wqZ3Lk" rel="nofollow">Unperson</a> video shows, a lot of people who are autistic, or in wheelchairs unable to communicate vocally, get treated as 'difficult' if they try to communicate in the ways they have that they wish better, or even different, treatment. People with mental illness get lumped in here too: "If you're not like me, you're not a good person." Unconsciously or consciously, many caregivers 'grade' patients based on their perceived ability to interact "normally". Whatever "normally" means, at the end of the day.Emilly Orrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07245643246821826101noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2135301473915671680.post-31223228683326198752009-12-30T15:41:47.732-08:002009-12-30T15:41:47.732-08:00Sphynx: If you can find it, yeah, it sounds worth ...Sphynx: If you can find it, yeah, it sounds worth reading. And that makes sense, actually. You have to be left alone for a <i>long</i> time to bleed out in a bath; and pills and poisons? Stomach pumping or being forced to throw up works for that.<br /><br />Men, on the other hand...guns. Hanging. Driving off somewhere deserted to inhale carbon monoxide. They're not really in the game to fall asleep and never wake up; they generally want to be <i>sure</i> it works.<br /><br />Miss Jameson: Oddly, this was the first I'd heard of it. I've known about Support for Healing, that sprawling demi-Buddhist sanctuary sim, from my first year on the grid. But the virtual hallucinations project? Passed me by until now.Emilly Orrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07245643246821826101noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2135301473915671680.post-70556169391834144672009-12-30T14:03:50.140-08:002009-12-30T14:03:50.140-08:00M~ Jameson - I believe it's more likely that t...M~ Jameson - I believe it's more likely that the methods men are drawn to are more lethal than the methods a lot of women are drawn to when they're not in the medical profession.Sphynx Soleilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08384124029613452884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2135301473915671680.post-2635002033847732932009-12-30T11:18:30.718-08:002009-12-30T11:18:30.718-08:00I'd thought the experience could trigger thing...I'd thought the experience could trigger things for people who've had hallucinations or psychosis themselves, but perhaps it's so mild in comparison to the real experience that it doesn't. I think it had a strong effect on me because the negative voices reminded me of my own mental state when I've been suicidally depressed, so imagining hearing them as an actual voice - especially if I didn't accept that they were hallucinations - really got to me. And I know a couple of people with schizophrenia who really don't accept that they have it, and tend to believe their voices.<br /><br />I've also met nurses in psychiatric wards who seemed to have not the least little inkling of what some of their patients went through - the kind who think someone's "being difficult" when they're obviously in a state of severe distress. <br /><br />I've just noticed the project is in the SL showcase at the moment, so that's probably why it's getting a flood of visitors.Sapphire Weatherwaxhttp://sapphireweatherwax.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2135301473915671680.post-90068734686623090562009-12-30T10:09:55.596-08:002009-12-30T10:09:55.596-08:00Interesting you should mention that, as the Virtua...Interesting you should mention that, as the Virtual Hallucinations project was written up in some SL book several years ago and was one of the first things I did in-world. While I thought it was an interesting presentation, giving a perspective on schizophrenia that I would not have otherwise had, I found the voices and such to be an irritant rather than disturbing or scary. Sometimes it's hard to walk a mile in someone else's pumps, no matter how hard one tries.<br /><br />Miss Soleil - Interesting statistic. Does that imply male suicides have a better idea of what<br />will be fatal, or just that the methods men are drawn to tend to be more lethal?Rhianon Jamesonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13627163137265856251noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2135301473915671680.post-74467825696038860622009-12-30T04:43:09.922-08:002009-12-30T04:43:09.922-08:00I read a Medscape article recently that explains s...I read a Medscape article recently that explains some of the disparity of suicide rates between men and women - it boils down to lack of knowing what's actually going to be 100% fatal. <br /><br />Of med students, men and women have about the same rate of...erm...success. IIRC, the suicide rate of med students might be a little higher than the national average. <br /><br />If you want, I can dig up the article and link it for you.Sphynx Soleilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08384124029613452884noreply@blogger.com