Wednesday, December 31, 2014

there's bound to be talk tomorrow

(We join our program, already in progress, in part four.)

And then it struck me, I was being le dumb. Because there's a HUD for this whole thing in the demo box.



This is the full, alpha-selectable section, which--like my Kemono kitling--can have entire sections, mini-sections, or even micro-sections of the mesh form turned 'off'. Oh, my gods, the sheer measure of awesome in having this feature in a mesh body, you don't even know how often it saves me with outfits. So, potentially, all those outfits I tried on and discarded? They will all work now.

There's a major problem with this, though, and it lies between the end of the neck and the bustline. V-neck anything? Not going to work. Because there aren't any specific V-neck lines. There are good lines for bustiers, boat necks, square necks (likely including medieval/Victorian styles), but a straight V-neckline. It's missing.



This is the skin- and nail-tinting HUD, so I'm still not sure if Slink nail HUDs will work in the full version, or not. That they're supposed to is the rumor; I didn't see any changes in actually clicking existing nail HUDs I had. But, I can change the nail polish, as shown here:



and here:



(And one more pause before part five.)

(I'm wearing the "Wendy" mid-length hairstyle from pr!tty in one of the Ombre HUD shades; the May 2014 group gift skin from 7 Deadly Skins, received on this year's Advent run; and the simple Brown eyes from Heaven's Gate, which at the time were part of a free set, and may be still, for all I know.

And I used Strawberry Singh's "Closeups" Windlight setting for all shots shown here.)

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

it's up to your knees out there

(We continue from the last part.)

This was the second fun part I found out:

I've been taking most of these with the included demo set of lingerie, specifically designed for "Lara". This is what happens with other mesh clothes:



This is the "Kaleesi" outfit from Black Haus, White Market. (I had to be somewhat careful on this one because I forgot I didn't get out underwear, as well!) Interestingly, in my own shape I'm pretty much consistently a size M. Wearing the "Lara", I'm a size M on top and a size XL on the skirt.



This is the "Farhana" almost-dress in Brown, from Footpaw Industries. This one, I had to go up to size L to fit properly.



And this is FashionNatic's "Fn" dress in Demon Red. I'm showing it in size L. And the thing I'm learning with all of these--and the more I didn't take pics of, in getting to these three--is that fitting a mesh body is fitting a mesh body, period. For some reason, I thought it would be closer to a human avatar, but nope--I'm running into the same problems that I run into with my Kemono kitling. Alpha layers won't work, because even though you can use more of them, you already have a full-body alpha layer on to accomodate the full mesh body. So it's fit those dimensions, or don't wear the outfit.



As you can see from this shot, even the boots had problems with the mesh body showing through.

(And off to the fourth part.)

(I'm wearing the "Wendy" mid-length hairstyle from pr!tty in one of the Ombre HUD shades; the May 2014 group gift skin from 7 Deadly Skins, received on this year's Advent run; and the simple Brown eyes from Heaven's Gate, which at the time were part of a free set, and may be still, for all I know.

And I used Strawberry Singh's "Closeups" Windlight setting for all shots shown here.)

Monday, December 29, 2014

oh, baby, you'll freeze out there

(Continued from part the first.)



We start off in part two with shape four, what I consider to be either the 'athletic' or the 'barely legal' shape.



She's got that token fetishized 'gap' between the thighs, slimmer hips and torso, thinner arms and legs, and she's definitely not as curvy as the rest. I like how, while this is mostly the pose I chose to shoot, she has that gamine awkwardness about it. It's a nice touch.

Weirdly, she clocks in at height 52, when I'd think she'd be set to shorter, but hey.

This was the first really fun part for me:



This is in my current default shape, which is height 8, no body thickness, body fat set at 6. Yes, I know, I'm a short mutant. That's my choice.



The thing is, "Lara" still makes this short, strange shape of mine look good.

(Four more pictures, four more review bits, and off we go to part three.)

(I'm wearing the "Wendy" mid-length hairstyle from pr!tty in one of the Ombre HUD shades; the May 2014 group gift skin from 7 Deadly Skins, received on this year's Advent run; and the simple Brown eyes from Heaven's Gate, which at the time were part of a free set, and may be still, for all I know.

And I used Strawberry Singh's "Closeups" Windlight setting for all shots shown here.)

Sunday, December 28, 2014

I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice

Today, the "Lara" mesh body from Maitreya was officially released. The demo's been out for a while, but I admit, I wanted to see what the full price was before deciding to try the demo. (I'm poor. It's a thing.)

She's going to retail for L$2750, which is a hard hit for many of us. My Lolas Tangos didn't cost that much at the time, and I borrowed from friends to get those, so yeah, ouch. But...she is beautiful, and potentially worth the expense.



This is the first shape included. It's definitely busty without being overwhelming, it has reasonable and very nice curves, and, beyond being far too tall for me (which likely means it's about average for the rest of the grid), it looks good.



Just as an initial view shape-and-mesh package, the fact that I was able to open the folder, grab the mesh body, grab a shape, and know what it looked like out of the box, no adjustments--that's very attractive. The fact that it's pretty much plug-and-play, so to speak, to start with is also very attractive. While I was using the demo folder, I initially found five things: the mesh body, the alpha for the mesh body, the feet demo, Hand R demo, Hand L demo. That was it. It was kind of awesome--there's more to put on with my Kemono kitling!

While none of the demo shapes are moddable (there's a note saying they are in the full version), this one clocks in at height 66.

[Later insert from the Editrix: I didn't even put on the HUD at first, as evidenced by commentary below.]



This is the second shape, and a little closer to what I currently accept as "me" in-world. It's shorter, a litle slimmer as far as curves go, without losing them entirely.



This one clocks in at height 47, which considering my usual height 20s or less, is STILL way too tall, but it's an improvement!



The third shape goes up to height 49, but also up to body thickness 20, which gives her thicker thighs and a curvier, wider rear.



It's a small but noticeable difference that I think many users may like.

[Thus ends part one. Please join us in part two.]

(I'm wearing the "Wendy" mid-length hairstyle from pr!tty in one of the Ombre HUD shades; the May 2014 group gift skin from 7 Deadly Skins, received on this year's Advent run; and the simple Brown eyes from Heaven's Gate, which at the time were part of a free set, and may be still, for all I know.

And I used Strawberry Singh's "Closeups" Windlight setting for all shots shown here.)

Friday, December 26, 2014

nowhere to look but inside, where we all respond to pressure

No, please, not the big pleading eyes, what do you want, what's wrong, let me fix it, oh gods...

Also, why does this exist? More to the point, why did it sell out??

[20:11] Cxxxxxxxxxx Axxxx: Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.
[20:11] Cxxxxxxxxxx Axxxx: Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.
[20:11] Cxxxxxxxxxx Axxxx: I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.
[20:11] Cxxxxxxxxxx Axxxx: Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.
[20:11] Cxxxxxxxxxx Axxxx: When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd.
[20:11] Cxxxxxxxxx Axxxx: Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."
[20:11] Cxxxxxxxxxx Axxxx: This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.
[20:11] Cxxxxxxxxxx Axxxx: There can be only one.


And from the amusing to the disturbing...

[12:58] sxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: oooooh deys wots and wots of groupie gifties hewe too. dis pwace has tons of fweebies. wucky chaiws MM boards

Let me interject before we reach the reaction portion of this conversation. This is part of the group chat from the SL Frees & Offers group. It's something I've been involved with for a few months for two reasons--the amazing wealth of information on free offers on the grid, and the sheer tonnage of designers who release monthly gifts for the group.

So this was just another day of various denizens noting various offers they'd found that day...until this.

[13:00] Axxxxx Sxxxxxxxx: No breedable places please Sxxxxx
[13:00] Qxxxxx Pxxxxx: its not really
[13:00] Qxxxxx Pxxxxx: i mean kinda


You mean, actually yes, it is a breedable place, and a mall, and this group has rules. No breedable stores, no malls, no Adult lands, no casinos or gaming palaces. There's a few specifically banned stores--I haven't learned them yet, but I've never posted things from any of them, because I've never been corrected on any stores I've posted. I do know that most of the banned stores were banned because their owners wouldn't stop spamming the group with notices about full-price, not-on-sale, not-free items.

[13:01] sxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: is a stowa at a sim someone dave me fowa free xmas tree gifties

And, as I've pointed out before--and as some are going to point out soon--I really, really loathe this particular affectation, especially since I have met child avatars who choose not to cripple themselves with this ridiculous, stunted pidgin-speak.

[13:02] sxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: i no give people bweedable stuff, just stowa and pwetty xmas twees giggles

You are entirely missing the point, you dimwit. You are NOT ALLOWED to post that store in this chat. So don't keep talking about it.

[13:03] Pxxxxxx Lxxxxxx: that is so annoying
[13:03] sxxx sxxxxx: What is Pxxxxxx ?
[13:04] Pxxxxxx Lxxxxxx: people who put w's instead of r's


Yes, yes it is. Profoundly.

[13:04] Rxxxxx Sxxxxxxxxx: shes a ting little girl
[13:04] Rxxxxx Sxxxxxxxxx: tiny too
[13:04] axxxxx Sxxxxxxxx: She's a child avatar Pxxxxxx, she's going to talk like that


Why? Why is she going to talk like that? What inane demilinguist made the decision that this is how child avatars talk on the grid? How far does this inanity go back? Because, between the inappropriate offers, the pride over griefing attempts, and this, there are solid reasons why many residents of the grid dislike child avatars.

[13:04] sxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: where does a tid find kiddie stuffs? pweet pwease?
[13:05] rxxxxx jxxxxx: thats cwazy :D
[13:05] Rxxxxx Sxxxxxxxxx: right !!
[13:05] sxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: mmmhmm dis hows i talks
[13:05] lxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: its role play


Unfortunately.

[13:06] lxxxxxx Oxxxxxxxx: but if someone was roleplaying cusswords or something else annoying or offensive they would get the boot i bet.
[13:06] sxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: mmhmm dey is, i gets them and bwing my mommie hewe.


Dear gods, no, please, not that. The woman who tolerates your chosen speech impediment is not someone I ever want to meet.

[13:06] Axxxxx Sxxxxxxxx: Look, that place isn't allowed to be posted...
[13:06] sxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: dey on da walls, is slinky nails and over nails, sooo pwetty too


Are you actually mentally impaired, and not just lacking all imagination? She's told you more than once to stop posting that store, which also includes continuing to talk about it, so "shut the hell up" is actually appropriate to say here.

[13:06] pxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Actually... children don't actually talk like that.

It's true. Yes, children invent their own pronunciations; yes, children lisp--in fact, when I was growing up, I was a child who lisped. Lisping does not equal this kind of pidgin idiocy. Only "adults"--and I use the term loosely--come up with this as how "real kids talk". Which tells me two things: they don't spend time around many "real kids", or they just don't care because they think it's twee and "kyooot".

[13:06] rxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: we couldnt find them beyond the group ones - its not a big deal, it was funny what was said to me thats all.
[13:07] pxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: If they do, they're normally taken to the doctor to see if they're retarded or not
[13:07] rxxxxxxxxxx Gxxxxxx:
[13:07] rxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: LOL
[13:07] lxxxxxx Oxxxxxxxx: exactly Sxxxxxx
[13:07] lxxxxxx Oxxxxxxx: Thats Not Nice Rxxxx


Sometimes "not nice" is just "being honest" because "they won't listen any other way" because "they're dim".

[13:07] Sxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Well I think she's absolutely amazing.. because my kids couldn't type full sentences on a pc at 2

Yeah, we're not talking about typing, here. We're talking about child avatars who continually try to portray the dumbest thing in the room. It's not funny, it's not accurate, it's not necessary and it's not endurable. Find another goddamn hobby other than irritating everyone around you.

[13:07] Rxxxxx Sxxxxxxxxx: ok lets just drop the subject please unles you find it stimulating to hurt anothers feelings

Well, on occasion...But I've mostly grown out of that phase. And see? Look how adult I'm being--I'm not even dissecting this chat for grammar violations.

[13:07] Qxxxxx Pxxxxx: wow
[13:07] pxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Just being realistic here, that's all
[13:08] pxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Speech impediment is serious, yanno?


It is, assuredly. This isn't that. Someone with a genuine speech impairment usually doesn't need to point it out, it's obvious. Someone with a social impediment--like some forms of autism--will usually point it out in world, or, if they don't, it's also usually not difficult to pick up, so we may react accordingly. This isn't either of those things. This is like Baby Jane's character in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane--someone who put so much time and energy into being young and adorable that, well past fifty, she's still trying to be young and adorable. And, because she is, at this point, old and psychotic, it doesn't work.

Much as this form of speech in child avatars does not work.

[13:08] sxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: das not nices at aww you all
[13:08] lxxxxxx Oxxxxxxxx: not the retarded part but...
[13:08] Qxxxxx Pxxxxx: cause SL is realistic.......


Of course it's not. But there are rules. Many of them are unspoken, because they simply don't need to be--things like, don't show up nude in a PG sim, don't show up non-human on sims that only allow human avatars only, don't show up erect in any public area unless it's explicitly stated that that's okay (and nude beaches don't count, boys, they'll let you in naked and flaccid, but not naked and erect).

But this isn't about that. This is about something so irritating that it crosses the expected boundary points. The furry community has their own form of this irritation, called "babyfurs". While there are some babyfurs that aren't attached to creepily pedophilic sorts, the vast majority--and those who seek them out--just...are. So there are a lot of furry sims where there are explicit signboards saying "no babyfurs allowed". Because the drama that is them and the drama that follows them is just too much drama to deal with.

Come to think of it, there's more than a few sims and stores now that don't allow child avatars anymore, either, and not just those who operate on Adult land. That's interesting, isn't it?

[13:08] Rxxxxx Sxxxxxxxxx: and i know that but i was brought up better than to cause hurt to others
[13:08] lxxxxxx Oxxxxxxx: And You Admin's Is Gonna Tollerate This


Funnily enough, yes--none of the mods came forward to censor anyone at this point.

[13:11] pxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Wasn't trying to hurt anybody's feeling, just bringing up facts.
[13:11] lxxxxxx Oxxxxxxxx: i didn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings I apologize - I was just agreeing that it was a little jarring. I'm not used to ppl roleplaying in a group chat like this.
[13:11] Axxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: And she's shorter than me in SL, so I like her already lol
[13:08] Rxxxxxx Bxxxxxxxxx: i don't see any kid avatars in here saying how you should do your SL...


In here, at this exact moment, no, you don't. In other chats at other times, yes, I've been present for those conversations, and they're always jarring and distasteful. So it does happen.

[13:09] Axxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: ok, people please be restpectful each other
[13:09] lxxxxxx Oxxxxxxx: Its Ok Skyler They are Just Trying to Be Mean To Make Their Self Feel Better
[13:10] sxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: is otay, peoples no huwt my feewings. i is a kiddie so i know hows to taddle teslls betta dan anyones


...And...why, precisely, does harmful commentary lead to "tattling" in your mind, O unholy child? What do you honestly expect that to do? Tell your mommy, and she'll do...what, exactly? What kind of power do you expect her to wield, here?

[13:10] Axxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: awwww, Skylar is so cute
[13:10] Emilly Orr: Or, some of us have had bad experiences with child avs in the past, though not all of us are hostile about it. At any rate, it's a varied group, just don't engage if it bothers you.


Or, when it still bothers you, bitch about it later on your blog. That happens, too.

[13:10] rxxx Rxxxxxxx: wait
[13:10] Pxxxxxx Lxxxxxx: ok, back to the freebies, not adults pretending to be children, ..does anyone know where the analog dog free hair is located, I'm at point B


And onward we went--thankfully childspeak-free past this point.

Finally, a Linden-based comment from another chat:

[15:39] Txxxx Rxxxxxxx:: [Posted 3:20 PM PST, 17 December 2014] In October, we discovered an issue regarding the Second Life Wiki that required maintenance to resolve. This maintenance is currently ongoing. During this ongoing maintenance, the wiki remains available in read-only mode. At this time, we do not have an estimate as to when the maintenance will be completed, however, please be advised that the maintenance is proceeding and is of a high priority. We’ll post as soon as the maintenance is completed, and thank you for your patience.
[15:40] Txxxx Rxxxxxxx: so they've been doing that maint since october
[15:40] Kxxx Hxxxxxx: good job they are working fast then
[15:41] Txxxx Ixxxx: sounds typical for LL


Yep. Pretty much.

Thursday, December 25, 2014

think of loved ones as we gather near

[20:23] Rebecca Rhiannyr: merry christmas!
[20:29] Clover Dezno: merry Christmas!
[20:29] Gabrielle Anatra (gabriell.anatra): Merry Christmas everyone.
[20:45] Rebecca Rhiannyr: merry merry gabrielle and clover!
[20:48] Emilly Orr: For a moment, I thought that was your actual holiday wish, and I was trying to figure out where clover came into a winter holiday. :p


I am choosing to leave the names in for two reasons: first, no one's airing an even slightly controversial opinion here, and second, it makes the confusion make more sense. :p



Next, this is my favorite holiday song I've heard this year. It has wronged its way into my heart quite thoroughly. Of course, it narrowly pushes out Joshua Hyslop's Winter's Night, an earlier find this year. Which pushed out Will Yate's 'The Snowpocalypse" (find it here, in the 2009 compilation of songs) as the Best Holiday Song Evar.

I go through a lot of holiday songs.

Anyway, I was supposed to post this on the 25th, so it's going up on the 25th, but I actually got back to this on December 28th at 1:48 am. Just, y'know, for accuracy. Or something.

Merry whatever.

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

our bruises seem to surface like mud beneath the snow

So, there's this game on Steam's Project Greenlight. Here's the game studio's own description of their game:
Hatred fills your whole body. You’re sick and tired of humanity’s worthless existence. The only thing that matters is your gun and pure Armageddon that you want to unleash.

You will go out for a hunt, you will clear the New York outskirts of the humans with a cold blood. You will shoot, you will hurt, you will kill, you will die. There are no rules, no compassion, no mercy, no point of going back. You are the lord of life and death now and you have the full control over lives of worthless human scum.

You will also run, you will need to think, you will need to hide and fight back when armored forces will come to take you down. You will have no mercy for them, because they dare to come in your way.

Only brutality and destruction can clear this land. Only the killing spree will make you die spectacularly and go to hell.

Features:

  • Mad journey into the Antagonist's hateful mind.
  • Isometric shooter with best features of its kind.
  • 7 free-roam locations -starting from the outskirts of New York State and ending at...
  • Fight against law enforcement (police and stronger forces).
  • Gathering equipment off the dead and spreading Armageddon upon society.
  • Destroying everything on your way, hunting and fighting back.
  • Discovering the plot evolving in a non-linear way.
  • Unreal Engine 4 PhysX system boundaries pushed to the limits


Now, first and foremost, while this sort of "everyone's scum they all need to die" game form isn't my cup of tea, and I'm fairly sure it doesn't contribute to the best community of players, in and of itself it's just another game. There are good games and bad games; games that enlighten, games that destabilize. As a survival horror fan, I can honestly say I've played games that have given me nightmares, so I have little ethical ground to stand on where the whole "psyche-injuring games" genre exists and is.

That having been said, the reason I know about this game at all is that some of the "fans" voting for it want to see female game designers (like Zoe Quinn, Brianna Wu and others), as well as female game critics (like Anita Sarkeesian) as killable NPCs in the game.

Let me say that again, because it sounds vaguely important: supporters of Hatred, the game, want to see representations of real women as adversaries to hurt, mutilate and murder in the game.

There's a petition to keep the game off Steam, as well as a petition to keep the game ON Steam. People seem exceptionally polarized about this work. But that's not necessarily my main concern.

The next comments are presented without corrections.

From TequilaGundam:
Anythying that pisses off SJW is fine by me, gonna buy this as soon as it possible. (December 15)
From The Gentleman Spy:
Cant wait to fuck faggots up.
(December 15)
(December 15)From Shavot:
I CAN'T WAIT TO KILL INNOCENT PEOPLE! 
(December 15)
From jakey1995abc:
If we preorder do we get a free AR-15 in the mail? (December 15)
From Chakracat:
Dear God please let there be an Elliot Rodger skin. 
(December 15)
From goga777:
Excellent, I'll wait, moral fags are forested
(December 15, translated from Russian)
From KDolo:
Can there be a Sanita Aarkeesian skin?
(December 15)
From spacecat:
Looking forward to modding this so I can ice ppl I depise IRL
(December 15)
From Creepter:
Apparently this game is "problematic". Good. For every agressive progressive retard demanding this game to be pulled and censored, you get five up-votes.

Let the game come, and let the SJW's cry.
(December 15)
From MilkshakeMakerMilkshakeTaker:
Can I kill kids?
(December 15)
From demasa:
Do we get extra points for killing SJW? I want to drink more of their delicious tears.
(December 15)
From (null):
Feminist Convention DLC pls
(December 15)
From Dexter:
Will Pre-Order because you are standing against the SJW cancer infesting gaming. Thank you for your service.
(December 15)
From Fatal Pulse
I have saved up all my internalized racism/misogyny for this!
(December 15)
From Le Robo Pope:
Children NPCs? Office shooter DLC? Elliot Rodger skin for pre-ordering? When?
(December 15)
From Buck ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ:
Voted yes, needs children though.
(December 15)
And then, there was Club_Shrimp:
1. This game is so laughably juvenile and emotionally stunted. It just reeks of attention-seeking, cynical shock-shlock, and the worldview / philosophy of the whole thing is pathetically shallow and childish. The description reads like something some metalhead teenager who think's he's superior to everyone else would write. The appearance of the main character almost confirms this. Aw yeah, trenchcoat and long hair, I'm so cool and above it all. Nobody understands me, and no has it all figured out like me. Horseshit. Why do you all want to support this garbage? Why is THIS garbage the figurehead of so many gamers' demands for freedom of speech? Seriously, get some taste.
Comment two:
2. It's easy to tell that the quality of the game doesn't matter to most of you who are greenlighting it. All you care about is revenge against "SJWs." With such a misguided mindset, I can guarantee you that a great many awful, juvenile games will inundate the gaming world just because of your tantrum-politics. Actually look at this game - it's clearly trash. It's funny because most anti-sjws claim to care only about the quality of games and not their political content - something which their attitudes toward this game directly contradict. This game is a political vehicle for anti-sjws - quality is finally irrelevant to them.
Comment three:
3. That said, this game promotes toxic ideological ideas. The creators have said they are against "totalitarian ideology," but what's more totalitarian than going on a killing spree? Killing and murder are FUNDAMENTALLY authoritarian - the eclipsing of the will of other people with your own absolutist will. See the description: "You are the lord of life and death" - a classically totalitarian, authoritarian sentiment. This whole game is a puerile, intellectual mess. Quality control was made for garbage like this game.
Comment four:
4. Should freedom of speech allow the promotion of ideological ideas that are fundamentally anti-freedom? Because that's what this game does - it glorifies them. If you claim that everyone is free to do and say what they wish, what about people who enslave and kill? Does your concept of freedom allow such behaviors? Is that not contradictory? Allowing such things brings about UNfreedom to a great many people, and suddenly, people AREN'T free to do as they please. There must be limits to such freedoms lest freedom turn into it's absolute opposite. If you value freedom so much, you shouldn't be allowing people to promote behaviors and ideologies that are fundamentally about the absolute negation or annihilation of freedom.
There's a very problematic phrase in there, "limits to such freedoms". Is there a limit to freedom? Well, yes, in many ways, both in theory and in practical application, but as it applies to this game?

How'ver, such ethical wrangling aside, there's a lot of truth in this, and in the pages and pages of comments I'm not quoting, simply because it would take too much time out of my life to read through them all. The bulk of the supporters of this game really seem to want it greenlit for two reasons, neither of them based on the quality or playability of the game:
  • That it will irritate non-GamerGaters, and thus, provide the GamerGaters supporting Hatred the opportunity to enforce their misogynistic beliefs; and
  • that it will either be moddable, or the game will actually choose to code in NPCs to kill based on SJWs, feminist activists, and other chosen targets of GamerGate.
Naïve question of the day alert: when did Project Greenlight become more about political activism and less about the actual games being voted on?

Saturday, December 20, 2014

in the snow on Christmas morning

Sad news, Alastair has passed after a battle with cancer.

He will be sorely missed. He lived, loved, gave his best to all he did. I am honoured to call him friend. His family has been very grateful for the support of his online friends and community through this difficult time.

I shall be lowering Caledon flags to half staff this evening in his memory.

Fair winds, dear old friend, and may God hold you in the palm of his hand.

Desmond Shang, Guvnah
Independent State of C
I...I can't say any more than that. He was a friend, and there was thought and time enough that we said our goodbyes before he departed, but...it still hurts. I will miss him deeply.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

masters in this hall

[Zone] Ermack@leozagaglia: PLEASE HOW I UNBOUND COMPANIONS FRO SELL

Properly, it's "how DO I UNBIND companions", and "for sell(ing)", but hey. Also, I am suddenly reminded of exactly why I stopped playing Neverwinter for a while. This kind of nonsense.

[Zone] Luusi Loyalar@thegcbacon: you dont
[Zone] Dara Wizard@essexuk: you cannot
[Zone] Ecthelion@oshikawa: i did not think you could unbind them
[Zone] Raven Shadowmane@kickaya1: once your companion is bound you cant sell it.


Pretty much. Once you name your companion, that companion is yours. You can't "unbind" it from your account or from that character. You can throw it away...but that's all you can do.

[Zone] Ermack@leozagaglia: shit
[Zone] Treyd Lightfoot@bailey2409: nein nein nein
[Zone] Ermack@leozagaglia: no way to unbound them ????


Nope. Thanks for playing.

[Zone] Ermack@leozagaglia: i wanna selll a brain companion
[Zone] D'Vanthsgrup@cagedrat: then you shouldn't have equipped it
[Zone] Luusi Loyalar@thegcbacon: then you should've used your brain earlier
[Zone] Heal@jeremieuserx2: ouch


Deserved, though. I mean, okay, if it's his first companion, maybe, but still.

[Zone] Nexus2@nexusmmo: how to use my invation skill?

Your...what now??

[Zone] Ermack@leozagaglia: 100.000
[Zone] Ermack@leozagaglia: i sell brain for 100.000
[Zone] Heal@jeremieuserx2: emack if you equipted it i cannot purchase it


"Equipped". Also true. Why doesn't Ermack understand this?

[Zone] Nexus2@nexusmmo: how to use my invation skill?

Again with this.

[Zone] VeryShy@litehands: cntrl,i

Oh, derp, I get it now--you mean how do you invite people to groups or parties. Right, okay, for some reason that slipped right by my comprehension.

[Zone] Zaketrin@dazorglub: you can"t sell bound stuff
[Zone] Ermack@leozagaglia: no way to sell to other player ?????


Nope, we've covered this. Move on.

[Zone] PaixDesAmes@bettyboop83: do yu think your brain so valuable

Oh, there are so many ways to answer that...

[Zone] Heal@jeremieuserx2: not if you double clicked it, no
[Zone] Zaketrin@dazorglub: that's what bound does
[Zone] D'Vanthsgrup@cagedrat: you equipped it, it is bound to you, you are stuck with it, get over it
[Zone] Ermack@leozagaglia: you faind it for 200.000


"Faind" it? What does that even...are you still talking about selling the damn thing?!?

[Zone] Krazed@thykrazyone: so...what do we do with gold now?
[Zone] D'Vanthsgrup@cagedrat: pile it up, take a nap on it
[Zone] Zaketrin@dazorglub: buy 100 of each kit and potions
[Zone] Trissynda Tor'Ana@lirithiel: give it to the poor
[Zone] PaixDesAmes@bettyboop83: buy potions and things for crafting
[Zone] Zaketrin@dazorglub: also that ^


Indeed. Though gold's more useful than people realize; at least, if you like running with lots of potions or you're into the crafting system. Then it's massively useful, and not having gold can seriously cramp your day.

[Zone] Heal@jeremieuserx2: look on the bright side emack, you have a buttstallion companion now!
[Zone] Ermack@leozagaglia: i cant read sorry repeat


.....

Okay, first, what's a buttstallion? I looked it up, and...yeah, there's nothing in Neverwinter that can do...that, so...I'm confused. But second, Ermack cannot read? Yet he's playing in a text environment where the only means for folks to communicate is through writing the words that stay, and then reading them. And he can't read?!?

He can't be serious.

[Zone] Luusi Loyalar@thegcbacon: I lay naked on my gold and taunt halflings that want some
[Zone] Mettyk@cagedrat: that's so metal

Well, gold is a metal...But that would be amusing. (Especially playing a Dragonborn, which are the dragon-sided new race in Neverwinter.)

[Zone] Ermack@leozagaglia: i will kill mi brain

"My". And right, because that's the perfect response to a companion you discover you can't sell after you made it yours. Idiot.

[Zone] Ursula@olechos: do it ermack and stop plaing

Or at least stop whining.

[Zone] Ursula@olechos: without brain it will be hard

I don't know, I'm not entirely sure he has a brain NOW, so...

[Zone] Ermack@leozagaglia: for you that sais stoip playing , try to stop playing you and try to loose your virginity ok ??

"Says", "stop", "lose"....gah. And I'm not even going to try to translate that. Ermack's just made of utter fail, start to finish.

[Zone] Ermack@leozagaglia: thanx for positive responses and fuck you all others bye
[Zone] Zaketrin@dazorglub: trying to unbind some bound stuff is like trying to gain virginty


"Virginity". Dear gods, please, learn to spell.

[Zone] The Hound@faxquo: good luck with that [Zone] VeryShy@litehands: lol
[Zone] Mockery@geeh77: can anyone give me 2 gold please


And off we go again.

children of the earth, arise!

More cookie recipes! First up, thumbprint cookies, two ways (but with room for many more creative variations), followed by chocolate sables, peppermint cheesecake cookies, traditional "Yule Log" and molasses crinkle cookies, and a very vintage recipe I haven't run across in years, it seems: raisin criss-cross cookies.

In other news, if you're into creepy sealife, I came across a lovely video of an anglerfish in action. It's either awesome or disturbing beyond all reason, considering how well you handle a fish with more than half its total body length being mouth.

Some days, I'm deluded into thinking I'm a rational person. This may not be one of those days.

[03:48] [Kxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx]: The Lord of this planet spoke to me once , it was two words ,, He said ,, ' No Mercy '
[03:48] [Txxxxxx Exxxxxxxxx]: O.o
[03:48] Emilly Orr blinks and wonders where that came from.
[03:48] [Kxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx]: me
[03:48] Emilly Orr: Yes, but in relation to what?

It was a serious question--I was massively confused. We'd been discussing lucky boards and Midnight Manias at stores that catered to implants (mostly Lolas Tangos, as I recall), and then this happened.

[03:49] [Hxxxxx Dxxxxx]: - I'd have been more worried if it has been The Lord of this univers - I coulldnt care less about Elvis...
[03:49] [pxxxxxx Fxxxxxx]: o.O
[03:49] [Kxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx]: The Lord of this earth , or did I stutter ?

No, you didn't stutter, dear, you're just not making any sense.

[03:50] Emilly Orr: Ah, okay, let me dumb this down for you. What do you mean?
[03:50] [pxxxxxx Fxxxxxx]: oh boy, one of those days
[03:50] [Kxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx]: you cant dumb that down any further

I guess not, but it still doesn't make any sense. Us: *random chatter, store sales, MM board postings* Her: *DOOM! BOW YE DOWN BEFORE THE LORD!* Us: Uh, what??

[03:51] [Txxxxxx Exxxxxxxxx]: flashes her tits and jiggles them in annoyance.
[03:51] Emilly Orr: Let me take it from another angle, then--to which Lord are you referring?
[03:51] [Hxxxxx Dxxxxx]: *shrughs* I have the Utmost respect for The Lord - what I do not respect are people trying to pull *their way* of believing over everyones head like a too-small hat!

Absolutely, which was another problem I had with this sudden intrusion from the religious side.

[03:51] [Kxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx]: there is only one
[03:51] Emilly Orr: There is only one *to you*.

I'm sticking by that.

[03:51] [pxxxxxx Fxxxxxx]: This is not the platform for this topic
[03:51] Emilly Orr: It's really not.
[03:52] [Txxxxxx Exxxxxxxxx]: there are religion groups , lots of them
[03:52] Emilly Orr: How does this relate to implants, freebies, or implant clothing?

After that she shut up. Again, this was completely out of the blue, so I still have zero reference as to what she was getting at in the first place, and why she so urgently wanted to pass on "the message" in an implant freebie group!

In more depressing news...whilst offline, I received this message from the Inspirational Mental Health group:
people are upset that I am walking away from no longer donating myself. But how can I continue to donate and give of myself when I have absolutely nothing. If you really love the community, if you really want to support, if you really believe in the mission and vision, just join the VIP group. I can't any longer donate of myself unfortunately. I no longer have the means to do so.
Uh...What?

So I logged onto the grid and read the notecard sent in a later message:
Don't donate to any organization that helps stop stigma or raise awareness. WHY in the world will you support these people?

Who gives a dam if they make a difference!!! Just don't donate. Let everyone commit suicide because they don't have a place to go to. Let everyone feel like crap because they have no one to talk to. Let everyone just suffer because who gives a dam, life is just too crappy to even believe things can change and be better.

Don't raise awareness, don't educate and don't support. Yep!, that's right! Hide all your materials and be greedy as hell and don't share it.

Don't share it with people who might be suicidal. Don't share it with people who might be in need. Just keep all your materials in your inventory and be greedy! It's amazing to live this way! Doesn't feeling greedy feel amazing?

Don't help out and volunteer with people who are trying to make a difference. Your life sucks anyways! How dare you believe that you are worthy and can help someone else? How dare you even for a second think you can possibly hear someone out and make a difference? Taking 2 minutes of your time to listen is just not for you.

Don't bother to say thank you for materials that do help you and change your life. Why? You deserve countless of hours of research, personal experiences, and work other people put in to give you something for free!! If they gave it for free, why should you say thank you? They can go to hell! Grab what ever it is and forget about gratitude. Who cares if they worked as slaves for FREE to serve you and help make your life better. That's not your problem.

Don't spend your money on materials that can help better your life. Nope! Just spend in on prim clothes, virtual world homes, and all the virtual luxury you can buy. Spend it on things that keep your life crappy. What else can make you feel better? You deserve to keep complaining about your same symptoms and life. Who cares if you don't change? Who cares if there is a possibility of a better change? This is your life and this is what you choose so be it!

Oh you are offended by what I am saying and my advice? Sadly, 95% of the people in a mental health community ARE these people.

Why is it that people chose this instead of wanting to be the change they wish to see?

Sadly, we can't raise awareness and educate without others joining in. We can't made a difference without others being involved. And we can't make a difference when others don't support.

This is a very! hard decision. VERY!

But I have realized my worth and value. I have donated countless of hours to this community for 3 years plus and have gained a lot of experiences that I now take that with me into real life. I realize that the contents I share have value and can change a person's life for the better. I have seen the materials being used by the 5% of people that do donate, that do say thank you, that do support, that do believe in a change....and they have gotten results!!

I know what I can give. I know that the materials shared can help change life for the better. I know that it brings results!

This is why I am moving on to where I am appreciated and valued. I am focusing 100% on the VIP Group ONLY. I am also launching a project in RL soon. This project will help millions of people while I don't go undervalued. I will also be able to help continue the work we do.

I want to thank you to the 5% of you that do and/or have donated to support this project of raising awareness, educating others and providing resources to those in need. I want to thank those that have listened to others. I want to thank those who have giving of themselves completely, realizing that this is the way to end stigma and discrimination. I want to thanks those who have supported us in one way or another.

If you would like to join the VIP group, here is the link {insert: leads to SL group link}

If not, I understand and wish you well in your journey. I am grateful to have met you all and I am thankful for the times shared ♥

Inspirational Mental Health, once known as Mental Health Awareness Retreat has reached over 5k people around the world. It has educated many people and raised mental health awareness. It has provided resources and information and peer to peer support.

Thank you for having been a part of this wonderful community.

Joshuan Banx
Now, I'm leaving his in-world name on the blog because he's been a passionate advocate of healing in all spaces--RL, SL, anywhere. I first ran across Mr. Banx while he was running a hunt to benefit mentally ill homeless people. I decided at the time to join his group, and while I don't always participate, there have been a lot of thoughtful, helpful discussions over the months I've been active in the group. He turns no one away, so there's a lot of diverse voices, from the depressed to the bipolar and beyond.

But I've never taken a class, and, while I have donated to the land fund, it hasn't been often. Why? Because I'm currently facing two (to me) severe issues:
  • I don't have a steady stream of Lindens to play with at present, and
  • I'm pretty severely depressed, for a variety of reasons (lack of Lindens being the least of them)
The first means I don't have much to donate; in fact, most of the 'shopping' I've done in world for the past six months has been garnering freebies and going on hunts. It's the second that's pulled me into hermit state, though, made me very uncomfortable around other people most of the time, and largely kept me out of world consistently.

And I won't lie: at first, the tone of the initial group notice made me want to post everything and explode in unwarranted rage. Because as with any serious case of depression, there's anger in the mix, and venting it inappropriately is typical for the ailment.

The thing is, I've been honestly sitting here, processing these statements, trying not to go off half-cocked, and I've realized a few things.
  • Whether I had Lindens or not, I could have foregone a L$25 Tuesday offering, or a heavily discounted mesh dress I wanted to attempt texturing, and saved up those minimal Lindens to toss to the retreat land.
  • He's right in that--while he's not specifically talking to me--I kind of fit into that largely self-involved 95% of group members: I haven't been talking a lot in chat, I haven't taken a class since the reorganization, I haven't donated in a few months to keep the land open, even when Joshuan was asking for donations on a nigh-weekly basis.
  • I've never even bothered to join the VIP group.
That last one has a very specific reason, how'ver: to join the VIP group, it's a steep (and, at this point, sheerly unaffordable) L$300. Now, in practical, RL terms, that's about a US dollar's worth, market fluctuations notwithstanding. It's not an insane--no pun intended--amount to ask for, and there are benefits that come with that--discounted class prices, members only materials and library (informational notecard) access, occasional exclusive group gifts, and at-home study worksheets for personal growth and self-therapy.

And I get why Joshuan's upset, I really do. I'm not the only one who's hung back; I can't even say that I had the best reasons, considering those I've spoken with in group chat who have far more compelling issues than I do at present. And while there's still a wounded, tender part of my psyche that is treating this as a personal attack, I'm also owning my complicity in frustrating Joshuan to this point: because as he said, I'm not the only non-participatory group member. And five percent of a group supporting the entirety starts to get really old after a while. I've been there; I understand.

So, I'm posting this. If you have issues you'd like to work on, and you have more free Lindens than I do, consider joining the VIP group. Joshuan is a caring, compassionate guy when he's not tearing his hair out, and overall, the group members are supportive people who do not judge. Plus, he's working on taking his self-therapy and peer support model off the grid and into RL, starting with Facebook and a set of personal speaking gigs at various locations he's been doing over the past few months. Which seem to be going pretty well, from what I've heard.

So...for now, I can't get further involved. Does it mean he's disbanding the non-VIP group? I don't know, and today, after a round of calls between various medical offices and various paralegals, I'm too tired to find out. I'm sure one way or another, all will be revealed, for good or ill.

After that, I feel the need for kittens.



There you go.

Sunday, December 7, 2014

ring out, Solstice bells

Is it possible to bring back ancient sounds? Musician Stef Connor thinks so, and she's going to do it on a reproduction of an ancient golden lyre. I can't wait to hear what she comes up with.

While we're on the New Scientist site, have a phenomenal picture of the Grand Prismatic Spring in Yellowstone National Park. It's apparently the third largest hot springs in the world, after Boiling Lake in Dominica, and Frying Pan Lake in New Zealand, which is the world's largest.

In other news, people will always find a way to be short-sighted. The newest astronomical craze is something called the CubeSat, which are tiny, cheap, box-shaped satellites, easier to launch than larger satellites, with a (supposedly) planned obsolescence factor which will bring them down in twenty-five years. However, with no oversight committee on design, some of the tiny satellites have been launched with no built-in decay, resulting in cube-shaped disaster potentials overhead. Some collisions have already occurred; and no one knows quite what to do from here, with literally hundreds launched by universities and hobbyists every year.

No space in a small apartment? No problem. Hang your bed from the ceiling.

Have some sour cream cut-out cookies. Also some flourless chocolate cookies. And while we're here, for the white chocolate fans, I found white chocolate-dipped ginger cookies and white chocolate-dipped cranberry/oatmeal cookies. I also found a pretty good gluten-free gingerbread cookie recipe. And to round things out, why not try some eggnog sugar cookies?

Tragically, Stella Young is no longer with us--she died earlier this week--but this excerpt from her TED talk is genius. "I'm not your inspiration, thank you very much." And it's true--disability is not there just to inspire the able-bodied. Disability is a condition, not a motivational effort. Bodies come in all shapes and sizes, and often, our bodies need support to continue to exist. These are medical aids, not badges of honor.



I saw this today at the Arcade gacha event, when I went back to pick up the rest of the gifts under the tree. Fantastic reflections on this ornament, and the absolute beauty of it? If you have Materials enabled, it's probably even better--this is just flat SL photography, no Windlight, no special settings of any kind.

(I also really adore the token "A" on the tree. Pity they're not selling those, though I may hunt around for a similar mesh alphabet set, because that would be kind of awesome as wall art, too.)



Sad but true. More later!

Saturday, December 6, 2014

in the bleak midwinter

We are well into the Advent season now, and if you haven't been following along, there's still hope. The owner of IM Capped has put together an expansive list on the topic. There may be revisions as time goes on, and stores drop out or add later-in-the-month Advents, and you can always check to see if there's been a revision by returning to the store or the blog.

Speaking of things seasonal, the Arcade (yes, I know, I know, it's always so crowded) currently has a holiday tree smack dab in the center of all the chaos. And, if you manage to fight your way to it through the lag, there's a grand collection of presents underneath it for the taking. I wish you joy of accomplishing this; I've crashed twice trying!

Speaking of things seasonal off the grid, have some snow cookies. And some cinnamon stars.

Marvel may not be able to bring all their characters back under one roof, so to speak, but Stan Lee may have hinted at reunification efforts. It'd be fun, but terribly complicated to nail down.

Have some happy hamsters.

"Go on..."

Les Sucreries de Fairy is getting into mesh in an adorable neo-Victorian way:



Retailing for L$200, copy/mod, five standard mesh sizes, PLUS the headband, the choker, and the beribboned gloves. Darling. If I had the L$200, I would buy it on the spot.

Santa's obsession is leather? Since when?

More to come, as I slowly drag myself back into blogging...